Need advice regarding a child with possible oppositional defiance disorder or conduct disorder!?

Question

I have a friend who has 4 children, by 2 fathers, and is on her 3rd marriage. Her oldest is an 11 year old boy with severe behavioral problems. She has 2 girls, 9 & 7, and a boy who is 6. Her girls are fantastic, and playmates to my girls who are 8.

The 11 year old is very violent, aggressive, foul mouthed, cruel to both animals and people, and likes to threaten, bully, and intimidate both adults as well as children. He is also very destructive. What concerns me the most is that when he threatens people, it is always in vivid detail about how he is going to kill or hurt them.

Recently, he has threatened my girls, and because I yelled at him, he proceeded to tell my girls how he was going to kill me. He often threatens to gut people or slit his peoples throats with knives as well, and will describe detail about blood on walls, etc.

I have refused to let my children play at my friends home anymore without a parent present. And I have told my children to tell a parent if he threatens again. When they have told the parent, she simply told my children to stay away from him. I have now refused to let my children go to their home at all. She does not discipline him, and has blown me off when I have tried to talk to her and express my concern, and recommend that she get him help.

Instead, she takes him out to garage sales and buys him a set of 12 hunting knives! (after she is aware of his threats) And she cannot understand why I won't let my kids play at her house.

The parents provide for all of their children well, as they are all spoiled. And they don't really have this problem with the other children although the youngest boy is starting to act like this 11 year old. But the parents are very permissive, and supervise their children very little.

My question is....do I call social services? I do not want to have her children taken away or anything, but I believe that she is in denial and I don't know how to push her to get her son help. I fear for my own children as well as her girls. It would not surprise me if this kid ended up raping and killing or harming someone. I just don't know what to do, and am struggling with calling CPS or not.

Answer 1

If this child is threatening the lives of others then the police need to be informed. anytime someone makes a threat like that a police report should be filed. if its not, then there is no record that this kid is having any troubles at all, so it will be hard to get him the help he needs.

  my guess is if you call the police they  may in turn refer the case to cps ,or better yet in addition to the police feel free to call cps. there is no hurt in calling and having them investigate. sounds like antisocial personality disorder can develop if that behavior isnt nipped in the bud. call someone though. please!

Answer 2

Be pretty d**n sure before ever contacting cps. You say her girls are wonderful. Maybe the oldest boy is desperately seeking attention. And I thought my oldest daughter had odd but she's not nearly that bad. Boys are generally more aggressive though. But I know she is very jealous of her younger sister and is seeking the attention she got when she was my only child and the only grandchild of my parents.