Need advice to tell friend in bad situation...?

Question

My friend just told me that the guy she's been dating for months is actually married... He told her after they spent a weekend together at a vacation resort after about 6-8 months of dating... After she got over the initial hurt and shock, she asked me what I thought she should do... She still wants to be with him because she says they are in love, but he wants to be with his wife for the sake of his young child and with my friend because he says he loves her. I've met the guy and he didn't seem like he'd do anything like this... And he's a really nice guy, but I just want them to stop seeing each other, just until he either separates from his wife or they divorce... But then there's the small child involved.

I dont know what to tell her because if I tell her to stop seeing the guy, she'll hate me, but I just can't support this because it's against everything I stand for. I've been there when her last boyfriend cheated on her, and I tried to explain that his wife will feel the same she did when she found out about her ex.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

If she's still willing to be with him after he lied (by omission) about being married, and accepts this from him , then she probably deserves everything she has coming. Sorry. She had my sympathy until she found out. Now she chooses to be "the other woman".

She knows he was willing to lie to her for  7 MONTHS about something so major to their relationship, why would she assume that he would be telling her the truth about the state of his marriage? Cheaters lie, as she should know from past experience. He is cheating already on his wife, why would she assume that he will treat her with more respect, more honesty? She has proof of his dishonesty, she ignores it at her peril.  

Answer 2

She has to leave. How on earth could she trust a man that didn't have the decency to tell her that he was married? What is stopping him from cheating on her too? Chances are, he will never leave his wife for her.

Reassure her that it isn't her fault and she is not the reason these men cheat.

Answer 3

She needs to get out of that relationship. If he was a trustworthy guy he wouldn't be cheating on his wife in the first place. How could she develop a serious relationship with him? He not only cheated on his wife, but he also lied to her! That is not showing your friend any respect.

What is stopping him from "getting tired" of her and finding someone else?

Tell your friend to keep her chin up, she'll get over this "loss." She deserves someone who will respect her, and a man who will be trustworthy.

Good luck to her!

Answer 4

He is alittle crazy, don't you think?  He wants his cake...yadda yadda

Answer 5

youre right, tell her she should stop seeing him before the his wife finds out and gets mad at her. she will thank you later.

Answer 6

Find a bottle of Jim Beam...get hammered and forget about him!!! He is a complete Terd!!!

Answer 7

Im sure she wouldnt put the guy shes dating

over you. Youve been with her through tough

times and im sure she will understand your

decision