Need advice with a dad who cheats?

Question

When I was 14, my parents split and divorced. When I found out my dad was cheating on my mom, I left his house and lived with my mom full time. My three younger siblings still went and go back and forth. I'm now 18 and the divorce is final. My mom hasn't been trying to see anyone which apparently works for her, though I'd rather she get out more. My dad has a serious relationship with a girlfriend who everyone loves. Even my mom likes her. She's great with us kids and probably helped my dad and I get back to a normal relationship (despite the fact I still live at my mom's).Today I went to my dad's office for gas money or possibly lunch. He was with a patient, so I went in to his office. He had a text from my sister, so I sent a funny one back. In the process though, I found a text from the girl he cheated on with my mom. Furious I sent a pissed off one back. He doesn't know I sent that and will probably find out soon since I didn't have time to delete it and the ***** will probably write back. I'm having lunch with my dad tomorrow and by the time that happens, he'll know I sent her that. I need to advice on a few things. At this point I don't really care about my dad, but more the people he affects. 1. Should I tell his Girlfriend? 2. He'll probably say that his ***** friend and he are just friends... is that possible given the situation? 3. He's in control of the college fund that pays for my college soon, should I even mention to his girlfriend anything?

Answer 1

First off it is great that you realize how this affects alot of people but maybe you don't realize the girlfriend might already know. I mean I'm pretty sure she knows he was cheater when she got with him. The next thing is how he is in a relationship and how he is as a father should be 2 different things with you. My son's father is the same way cheater but I could care less anymore as long as he is a good father and that's what you should worry about, your relationship with him. Maybe even ask him why he cheats. But do yourself a favor stay out of his relationship it's not really your business even if you feel as his kid it is. There might be things going on that you don't know about. So maybe ask him.  

Answer 2

You've made your feelings about your Dad's cheating known, and that's what is important. You can't force your Dad to behave himself.

As far as the girlfriend, I would not tell her that your Dad is cheating again, because you really don't know that for a fact. You only know that he's in contact with the woman. However, given the chance, I would say that it's reasonable to make sure that she knows that the reason your parents split is because your Dad cheated. I'm sure he's given her his own spin on the situation, but it's fair that she be told that FACT. Never pass on information that you are not absolutely sure is true.

I'm sorry you've been dragged into this mess. A real man would honor his promise to his wife before God. All you can do, when the time comes, is to resolve to do better than your Dad. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

play homewrecker..\

let everyone know what a cheater your dad is....

Answer 4

talk to your dad about how this makes you feel.  he can either respect it or not.  while you are entitled to your opinion, it's really none of your business what your dad does with his personal life, but you know that already, right?  i'd stay waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of it.

good luck!