Need advise has anyone been in this position?

Question

ive been with my partner for 11 years and two weeks ago he assaulted me family members said i should give him a second chance but now i feel as i was bullied into the decision as i cant stop thinking about it .I'm afraid that h**l do it again as he may see that hes got away with it has anyone got some advise

Answer 1

dump him. hes a looser x

Answer 2

Get out girl!! He`s done it once, that was once too often!!

KAREN THE FACT THAT YOU ARE EVEN QUESTIONING THIS SAYS.."GET OUT"

Answer 3

keep well away from him regardless of what the family say. no woman should EVER be assaulted by a man.

who knows, if he does it again it could be very serious and that chance is not worth taking. you deserve better............. scum like him need to be taught a lesson by another man, but again, he would probably decline the offer as he seems to like beating up women!

Answer 4

what cr*p advice from your family-dump the thug  

Answer 5

either.

Ignore him, find some friends to always be with.

Or if you like him too much, arrange anger theropy classes which you could attend with him.

Answer 6

Leave him....  Very scary I can imagine however no person deserves to be assaulted and no one deserves to have anyone if they mistreat them.  There are places to go that can help you out, obviously your family aren't the type of support you need to deal with this.  I wish the very best to you.  Good luck

Answer 7

he did it once and it could easily happen again, except next time the consequences could be worse! he could get more violent and end up damaging you permanently and even (i know u prob. don't want to think of this) might end up accidentally killing you...don't let someone who's hurt you once carry your life in their hands...get out ASAP

Answer 8

NO  

Answer 9

time is healer  

Answer 10

Get out!

Answer 11

You should do what your head is telling you to. its very unlikely that this will be a one off. you should maybe suggest some anger management counselling. it sounds like this is the first time he has done this, and as you have been together for so long, it suggests something may have happened to cause him to lose control. i am not saying this excuses his actions, but he may be in need of a little help

Answer 12

i would have nutted him and launched him back, what a ****

Answer 13

If you feel that he will do it again, and you are scared, then you need to pack your bags & move out.  Write him a note telling him that you are shocked, scared and will not tolerate behaviour like that!  You don't have to "leave him", but you need space from him so that he can see that you won't be bullied or accept that kind of behaviour.

You have been with him for 11 years, so this is awful that it has happened so deep into the relationship.  This is probably why your family have said to give him another chance.

Good luck!  I hope that you manage to sort this out without too much pain - physical or otherwise.

Answer 14

just ask yourself, no particularly your heart of what you really want to do with him... its all up TO YOU Ms.Wife and no one else...

give time to yourself to think, dont rush things that you ain't sure, ok...

if you made a choice then stood up for it, dont let you heart sway...

chao..

Answer 15

Get rid of him, he's a a***hole.

Violence like that can never ever be excused.

Answer 16

I'm really shocked that your family would tell you to stay with him! The problem is...if he did it once, chances are, he's going to do it again. It is puzzling though that the 1st incident of abuse would happen after 11 years but I have heard of it happening before. Was it a case, of you always walking on egg shells around him and then one day you tried to assert yourself? I knew a lady who was assaulted after something like 20 yrs. of marriage. She told me that it was okay when she did absolutely everything that he said but when she decided to have a different opinion, it all fell apart and he assaulted her.  Sometimes abusive men just don't like when you change or grow. If you try to develop yourself as a person, i.e. take courses, become a little outgoing etc., the green monster comes out. They don't like to compete for your attention and anything or anyone who interferes with that becomes a threat.

Personally, I think once is one time too many. I think that you're right to want to leave him. Good for you!! Often it happens many times before the woman finally decides to leave. By that time, your self esteem has greatly suffered.

It's hard to believe that he won't do it again if he's already resorted to that.  If it were me, I think that I would consult the local women's abuse hotline or shelter. They often have group or individual counselling that you can attend. They can teach you how to watch for Red flags in your relationship. Perhaps he's been abusive in other ways that might not be obvious to you right now - i.e. - verbal abuse? - is he controlling etc? does he alienate your friends so he can have you all to himself?

Whether you decide to stay or go, I would highly recommend consulting a counsellor at one of these shelters.  They see it all the time and they can really help you to have clarity about your relationship. Plus, you can feel at liberty to give them a lot more details than you can here because it's all confidential.

Good luck!  

Answer 17

You already know what to do.. DO IT !  

Answer 18

You both need to go to therapy if you intend on staying with this guy, violence should not be tolerated in any relationship.

I would personally say get the h**l out of there, its only worth staying if there are children to consider and if he gets help.