Need alot of help.... Please as many people answer!!!!!!!!?

Question

I have a one year old daughter and she has been sleeping in the bed with me and my hubby since she came home from the hospital. i know i should not have done that but she was my first and i wanted her near. Well now i'm having another one due in Jan. So i was wondering what are some suggestions on getting her to sleep in her bed? i feel so guilty for makeing her sleep alone in her own room because i feel like i am rejecting her. we live in a rather large house and though her room is right across the hall i feel as though she will be afraid at night all alone. then when the new baby comes i dont want her to feel as though we are replaceing her because for the first few months the baby will sleep in a basinet in our room. i am really really in need of help becasue i dont want her to feel as though we do not love her anymore. i feel like she is too young to understand all of this. please i need as many good suggestions as possible thanks everyone!!!

Answer 1

I would tuck my daughter in read her a book and try to stay there til she goes to sleep.  It will take a couple of weeks but after the story normally she goes right to sleep.  Just explain to her what you are doing children are smart these days.

Answer 2

Your daughter neeeds to be in her own bed.  You need to make this a pleasant experience not a punishment.  Role play with her doll the first night and than work your way into having her stay in there on her own.

Answer 3

you could push a smaller bed to the edge of yours and let them sleep there... or maybe let the baby sleep in a crib...

Answer 4

shes one years old she can sleep on her own.just read her a bedtime story before she goes to sleep,tuck her in

Answer 5

You could setting up the baby's crib in her room and telling her that when the baby is old enough it needs someone to share a room with like how mommy and daddy shared their room with her.

Answer 6

i know exactly how this felt, i did the same thing with my son then fell pergmamt with my daughter! he had been in our bed since 2 months and when i fell pregnant i thought we have to put him in his own bed but unfortunatkey it didnt go too well! my son is now 21 months and still in our bed . my daughter is 7.5 months and sleeps in her cot, i wasnt doing the same mistake again! i dont think we will ever get him out! its not worth it in the long run!

Answer 7

well...

you could move her room to a room closer to you.

or you could bring her bed into your room untill its time for the baby to move into his/her own room and then have your daughter move into her own room at the same time.

so she doesnt feel replaced

Answer 8

Ok, so You are the one that is scared of her sleeping alone....not her. Put her in her big girl bed and kiss her good night. She will be fine. Thats a habit you want to break now trust me. Both my boys slept with me and it took me until they were 5 years old before I finally got them to stop.

Answer 9

is a hubby a person or animal...?

Answer 10

Keep re inforcing what a big girl she's becoming.  Do you still have a crib ? Or something that could be a small little bed  ?  

Put that in there with you, in your BR.. then gradually inch it further away from you.

Answer 11

You are nor rejecting her you NEED to get her sleeping in her own room. there are so many dangers to her sleeping in your bed especially as you will be extra tired so may roll onto her and not realise.

Just put her in her own room and if she cries she cries, it wont last long once she realises that crying doesnt get her into your bed.

And please make sure your next baby does not sleep in your bed for its own safety

Answer 12

Maybe you should put a crib in your room just to get her acclimated to sleeping in her own bed. Once she gets used to it, move the crib to her own room. I'm sure it will be hard. Maybe with the next one, you should just put it in it's own bed from the start. It's safer also!

Answer 13

why can't they both sleep in your room?

Answer 14

go ta sleep w/ her in her bed then when she fall asleep leave & den when she wake up shell start seein she dont need to be w/ u guys while sleepin

Answer 15

Just tell your first daughter that she has a new brother or sister and tell her that it is just temporary and if it helps you can leave your door opened or unlocked and if your first daughter is ever scared just tell her to open the door and she can see you anytime. Sure she might be jealous but isn't any ohter child that had a new brother or sister. When she grows up she will understand. Or sit her down and have a talk with her about any problems with the new baby. She can be apart of the new baby with helping her helping you clean, feed, or play with the baby!

                                Hope the Advise works!!

Answer 16

There is nothing wrong or unnatural about having your baby in bed with you. Do rabbits, wolves, lions or any other animals chase their young away? No, only psychiatrists. Don't listen to them, love your children naturally. Hold them close. Be there for them to protect them always. You know it's right. She's just a baby, she needs her mommy.

Peace & Joy

Robin

Answer 17

When its time for bed put her in her own room and stay with her until she falls asleep. If she thinks she will be with you she wont have a problem. You aren't neglecting her you are just doing your job as a parent! Give her a stuffed animal while she sleeps so she knows she wont be alone. Give her alot of milk before putting her to bed so she will fall right asleep.

Answer 18

Don't let morality get in the way of parenting....read Dr. Sears!

Read about co-sleeping. There is not a wrong way to raise an infant with regard to sleeping, assuming you are not having s*x exposed to your kid. There are no laws that say you can't have your kids through youth (early youth) sleep with you. Many many other cultures have been doing this for years.

Read talk to others from asia, india, indigenous cultures.

Answer 19

Well January is a long time from now .  let her start sleeping alone now. By the time January come she should b ok wit sleeping alone.

My lil sis's parents kept her wit them til she wuz 2 it took her about 5 months to b comfortable sleeping alone.

Answer 20

d**n hunny. you havent had s*x since your first baby. what is wrong with you? id be going crazy by now, im only 17. put the 1 year oold and the new born baby in the same room. then they both wont be scared

Answer 21

When my son was little he slept with me and he now sleeps in his own room for his naps and bedtime. This is what I did and got tips from my son's dr. Let him fall asleep with you and then put him in his bed. He will wake up and scream for you you just go in there and lay them back down and tell them you love them and good night. You can get them a special toy or blanket to sleep with. It does get easier as it goes on. And yes I felt as though I was being mean mommy but it is the best now he goes to bed with no problems. He has two bears that he has to have and we are good. Also try putting on a light radio.

Hope this helps you.

Answer 22

if i were you i would not wait TOO much longer because ever since i can remember i have not had a room of my own. i shared a room with my sister then my mom because we didnt have enough bedrooms at the time. ever since then i had trouble sleeping in my own bed. i am 12 almost 13 and im doing better at sleeping in my own room and bed. good luck and dont wait too long!

Answer 23

Maybe you could give her "special friend" like a stuffed bear that will "protect her when she sleeps" something that might comfort her like you do when she sleeps in your bed I hope this helps :)

Answer 24

I would do it all at once, no transitioning to a bed in your room.  Why? Because children at this age transition a lot easier than adults.  The reason why so many of these transitions steps have been purposed by "specialist" is to ease the adult more than the child lol.

You'll need to set up a good routine and stick by it EVERY NIGHT. You should pick a few of the below items to make a good routine.

Some nightly suggestions that:

bath

read

prayer

songs

drawing/coloring one picture page together

rubbing on lotions

getting a drink of water (don't let her take a sippy to bed, just a drink from her cup)

She may cry and you can go in and comfort and re-inforce that it is bedtime and she'll need to go to sleep.  You'll probably encounter some crying spells where you will have to let her cry it out and go to sleep by herself.

Answer 25

I too made that mistake, in the beginning it seems  impossible, but you have to get her out or there will two in the bed and harder to break them both because they will see this as were we sleep and at that point if you start demanding go to your room it will feel like they are being pushed away. Lay down with her in her bed until she fall asleep,she is going to get up and come back to your room, but its  letting her know she has her own bed to sleep in in her own room, start now so when you have to put your foot down she doesn't feel rejected for the other baby, and the sooner you'll be able to ween the other child into the room with her.

Answer 26

Design her an AMAZING room, let her pick the theme and go all out. make sure her bed is especiaslly nice with a canopy or something so she won't wna tot leave, and remind her all the time how special and important szhe is to have her very own big girl room. As long as you make it sound good she will be just fine with it.

Answer 27

When she takes naps have her sleep in her crib so she can get used to it then at night put her in there. Or just put her in there during the day for a little bit, even if she isn't napping.

If you keep sleeping with her she will ALWAYS want to sleep with you and you do not want that as she gets older.

Answer 28

I believe sleeping with your babies makes them more secure children in the long run. Maybe my experience with my 2 will help you.

My first child slept with us and when I found out I was pregnant I decided that it was time to make a transition before the baby came because we just couldnt all sleep in my bed. However, I would have loved it. :) I brought her crib into our room and started to put her in that first. I was actually suprised how well she did the first night ! I think she got better sleep than she did when she was sharing with us. This was my plan that I stuck with when she cried.....I first decided I would nurse her (yes she was still nursing at night. *blush*) once at midnight and that was it. If she started crying I would go to her and put my hand on her back to let her know I was right there..dont talk too much as you dont want to stimulate too much. i said, I love you and mommies right here. Then I went and laid back down. If she continued to cry I let her do so for about 2 minutes then went to her and did the same as above. If she still continued to cry I did the same but extended the time between me going to her and her crying by a minute each time. i know this seems long and drawn out but I am not a big fan of letting her cry forever without any comfort. She will eventally fall asleep, I promise. I was really suprised with my daughter...it only took about 10 minutes. I also did the same when I moved her to her own room. So if you cant bring the crib into your room just do the same but go to her in the room. The second night do the same and the 3rd night start out at 5 minutes and instead of adding on a minute do 3 or 4 minutes. So if she crieds when you put her down dont go in for 5 minutes. If she continues to cry still dont go in for 8 minutes. Also, before I put her to bed I sat with her and rubbed her head and told her how much I loved her and daddy loved her and the doggies loved her and in the morning after we woke up we were going to have a fun day. I always say, sweet dreams and tuck her in so shes super cozy. :) I make it mellow and happy. The BEST thing you can do is be consistant. Once you break it starts all over. So whatever it is you decide, STICK WITH IT and BE CONFIDENT! :)

We are now doing the same thing with our little one. We brought the crib into our room and she is doing reallly really well. She is nine month and I am still nursing her once a night. My oldest is 2 1/2 and sleeping in her own room in a toddler bed and loves it. She calls it her big girl bed and she gave her crib to her little sister. When the new baby was born she did a reverse with some things but we just kept consistant and gave her lots of love~

I hope I helped.

Check out this book....

The No-cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley.

It really helped me.

GOOD LUCK~

Answer 29

Well what I would do is tell your 1yr. old that she is getting big and this is what big grils do. I dont know if she will understand you but talk to her. Also leave a little night light and if you can get one of those devices that you can hear her in her room from your room. Also so you dont make her feel bad I would leave the new born baby sleeping in her own crib in your room. But dont leave the new born out of your room.

Answer 30

Well you need to first tell her that you love her and that her own room is a special place.... that it is magical and if you sleep in it, you are a magical person. Have a night light so she wont be scarde, the first night stay in there un till she falls a sleep. then put a baby monitar(kinda like a walkie talkie) so you can hear her and she can hear you if you press the botton. dont let the new baby get all of the attaction that will make her fell left out and not good

Answer 31

I think that right now is the best time to kick this bad habit in the but. I call it a bad habit because at some point, you're going to want your space back and it may be too late for you to get her used to sleeping in her own room.

What I can recommend is make a game out of it. You put her in her bed, and you go to yours and show her that you can still communicate with one another. Once she is in her room and your in yours, say I can see you, hear you.. talk to her and let her talk to you and you talk back. Play in her room, make it a fun place, her place to get away from everything. Also, when putting her to bed, make that fun. So grab a pillow case and gather a bunch of toys that she plays with regularly, and let her put them in her "comfort bag" (pillow case). Make this a bedtime ritual. These will be things that she can have next to her that will make her happy.

All in all, just do what you can to get her comfortable with her room and let her feel that even when you're not RIGHT beside her at night, that you are still within communication distance.

It's also a great idea to get her used to her own room now, so that when the newest little member of your family arrives, she can sleep through the long newborn nights of crying and parents getting in and out of bed. This will also help with the transition of being only child to having a sibling.