Need help, really confused, and im getting sick literlly from all the stress

Question

im wih this guy, who is a different nationality than me, my parents are strict and and so not want me to be with anyone who is not my nationality. my mom makes it like a guilt thing where im being selfish and not considerning them, i honestly do not see how me being with the guy i love is being selfish what does that have to do with them. im 19 and the guy is 25, we r ssaving some money so he canbuy me an engagment ring, i dont want to elope with him, all i want is my parents to approve and be ok with this,m im scared at somepoint they will lock me at home so ill never see him, what should i do, i need a way to convince them to let me live my own life its just a nationality problem!!!

Answer 1

try to have a family dinner with you,him and your parents.That way they can get to know him.It will be intense but they will ask questions and hopefully get some good answers.then they may start to like him.they may not like him because he don't have much money.

Answer 2

At age 19, you are beginning the process of adult life.  Whether or not you are "old" enough to be making adult decisions is up to you.  You are responsible for your actions, which came about as a thought at some point in the past.  I suggest you read the book To h**l With h**l.  It gives a lot of good information that deals with how to be at peace with yourself and others.  It doesn't matter whether or not you are religious in order to get a lot of good information from this book.  It helped me a lot and I am older.  

Answer 3

At 19 how can they lock you up?  I was married and a mom at 19!!  Love has nothing to do with nationality!  Your parents are being racists!  If you are telling the whole truth and the only reason they don't like him is because of his ethnicity then they are narrow minded and ignorant!  If there are other reasons, like he's broke and has nothing to offer, well that's a different story!!!  At 25, why does he have to save for a ring?  You need to start to think with your head and not your heart for a bit.  Try to be objective, think of how your parents have been with you up until now, have they loved you, provided for you, protected you?  If so, I think they just may be trying to save you from disaster!  If not, move out and start to live your life!  You're not a child and they cannot lock you up!  Hope this helps, sending good thoughts your way! :-)))

Answer 4

I don't think any amount of talking, pleading or reasoning will convince your parents, right now. People like that have a strong mind set about race, etc.. What I would do is down-play your relationship a little..dont exactly lie and say "we are just friends" but dont talk as if you will definitly be getting married anytime soon. If you have already said that, then backtrack a little. Mention that you BOTH want to be sure of making a mature decision and having a good secured start to married life. This will ease their mind a little bit. Dont show your parents teen-age behavior like running for the phone because it's him, talking only about him, being sad if your not with him. This emphasises to them that you're immature. VERY subtley, say complimentary things about him..like how he is close to his parents, how he attends a place of worship, working hard at his job, etc.. Things that will impress your parents and MAYBE get them to start thinking differently. Dont make a list n throw it in their face..just every now and then casually mention good things about him and then leave the room or stay quiet. Make sure both you and he are being respectful of any rules in your house. Come home at decent times, etc. You are legally an adult but I know when we still live at home it's easy to continue feeling like a kid and we always want our parents approval. It MAY be that the only way they will come to accept him is after TIME. When they see that he makes you happy and treats you well.

If you're seriously afraid of being locked away..take some of the saved money and buy a disposable phone, keep it charged and hidden in your room on 'off' so it doesnt make a sound. If God forbid something bad happened to you, then you could call police or some adult friend or relative..NOT your boyfriend! you parents  would most likely have him arrested. I hope your just being melodramatic about this possibility, but if not, take precautions!

Good luck!!