Need help how to develop a father-daughter relationship?

Question

Ok so me and my dad are always getting into it. It could be the littlest stuff and he gets ticked off and starts yelling at me in my face. Recently hes been getting stricter and stricter and stricter. I mean every time I break one of his rules he makes about 3 more. And I have trouble remembering all of them because they're so many. I mean he's become so mean and strict that's its hard to look him in the face. He didn't use to be like that. So when were eating dinner he makes me sit across the table from him and he ask me how my school day went and I reply but its hard to talk to him and he gets mad when I don't look him in the eyes. The only thing we agree on is that I take ROTC and he likes it because it teaches me discipline. Other than that we are two totally different people. I just want to know that is it still possible to develop a father-daughter relationship without going to a counselor cuz he's stubborn. And he scares me cuz he always has a straight look on his face. He always tell me to put school first but I don't want to just study. I just want him to go back to the way he used to be. So any ideas?

Answer 1

Tell him how you feel actually write it to him so he has something definite and give it to him and take off for a bit to give him time to digest it all. Explain what it is tell him he makes you scared and nervous and you don't want to lie but with his angry attitude sooner or later your just going to start lying so you can finish your discussions with him faster and get as far away from him as possible.

Answer 2

Take him bowling!

Answer 3

take  to    him   moives

Answer 4

My dad was just as cruel, and he actually physically abused me. Thank your lucky stars it hasn't gotten to that.

Answer 5

I understand your dad.  I find myself becoming that way with my niece.

For every one slacker that is fulfilled as an adult I know 900 who are miserable - I don't want that for my niece.

For every girl who made the most of her opportunities I know 900 who threw their lives away.  They tend to get pregnant from tweaker-boyfriends when they turn 17.  Makes me very strongly opposed to dating as that age approaches.  Any argument on the subject just makes me stronger in my resistance.

I love my niece, and want her to live well.  I don't want her to be another family member that I support.  I want her to be free, and I want her to be able to pursue her dreams.  I'm willing to sacrifice her ability to pursue her dreams for ages 17-25 when her brain isn't working and those walking hormones called boys look at her as fresh meat in order to truly deeply give her the years 25-80 of her life as being deeply fulfilling, rich, and amazing.  

She is just so blind to what has long term benefit to her, and she has an amazing propensity to leap into the various swimming pools filled with double-edged razor blades that will cut her to shreds and bleed her dry.  I try desperately to keep her away from those pools, no matter how angry she gets about it.  That's love.

That's love.  She doesn't have to like me ... as long as at the end she has a better shot for a great life - that's a win to me.  That's victory in my economy.

EDIT:

If he hated you.. he could ignore you.  You would eventually go away.  He could be highly permissive... most children in that environment end up train-wrecks.  I'm a kid from a broken house... I have watched what "real" dads, and families do (and how it turns out) like a hawk.  Permissive yields train-wrecks.  Hard has mixed results, so not knowing what else to do hard is a likely best strategy.

Answer 6

you ever just talk to him why hes doing like he's doing? in a non confrontational way... maybe he sees something in you that scares the heck outta him< like hisself> and doesn't want you to follow down the same <bad/hard> paths?  as a daddy of 12, I have had the same reactions to mine, for the same reasons.... maybe that's what bothering him.... so try just talking to him , reassure him of what your goals, ideas and dreams are....might ease his nerves and in turn ease up on you.....    

Answer 7

well he does sound strict to me too you just need to talk to him, like really talk. you need to sit him down one day & just tell him how you feel let him know that it's hard for you to look him in the eye i mean that's not good you shouldnt be scared of your father like that. let him know that you know he only wants the best for you but also that you fear him i dont think he intends to take it that far so let him know. do what you can cuz not everyone has a father so try to make this work. good luck to you & be strong & speak your mind