Need help on how to comfort someone who has had an abortion.?

Question

My co-worker (who is 19) is having an abortion but she is going to tell everyone here that she had a miscarriage. I thought something was up with her yesterday and it just made me think that she is going to abort the baby. Than I saw 2 of her questions here on yahoo saying it was for medical reasons. There is information I have been told by her that the real reason for the abortion is that her bf will not talk to her or stay with her if she has the baby. He is a drug dealer who doesn't want to stop. There are also other things going on in this relationship.

I personally would not have an abortion but I believe that it is a woman choice either way and I will not hold it against someone if they choose an abortion.

My question is I have been placed in the middle between the boss and my co-worker, and I am not sure how to deal with her when she comes back to work. Yes she will be going through a huge loss, but she has chosen to do this. I have never had a miscarriage or been around anyone who has. I am not sure how to try and comfort her. Any ideas?

I really don't want to hear how abortion is wrong. We all have heard it may times. I just want to help her through this.

Answer 1

I would assure her that she made a good decision for herself. Remind her that she is not married, and maybe too young to have a child. Besides, who wants to raise a baby on welfare? Not me.

Answer 2

After something like this is hard. There are no words to comfort its a deep loss whether she did or didn't want it.

A hug is sufficent.

Answer 3

I would have a talk to her about a boyfriend that will not stick around and take care of his responsibilities and that is a drug dealer. It sounds like that is not a good relationship for her to be in. As for the abortion I don't really know what to tell you to tell her. Has she gone through with it? Is she doing this because she wants to or just because her boyfriend will leave her? Let her know first before having to console her that she doenst have to do this for someone else.

Answer 4

just let her know its okay and that you will not judge her.  ask how she is feeling and if she wants you to go with her. its nice to have support from a friend :)

Answer 5

well although u saw her question on yahoo you really not supposed to know. so i would just take her out to lunch and say if she ever needs anyone to talk to your there 4 her.

Answer 6

I wouldn't say anything.  If she wants to talk she will talk.  When I had my miscarriage, I hated hearing sorry for loss, or everything happens for a reason and so on.  Now I had to go to the hospital to have a D&C and they put you under with a tube down your thought and everything.  I took a week off afterwards for personal time.  Only a couple people at work even knew I was pregnant so that made it better because they thought I was just off for surgery but didn't know what.  I am not really sure how the abortions work, but the people i knew who got them were in and out in a few hours and were drinking that night (y i don't know).  So I am guessing it's not the same as a D&C, cause I went in at 9am, and didn't leave the hospital until 7pm, was very sore and tired and basically spent three days in bed.