Need help on preserving my relationship with my mother?

Question

OK, so i went to a party but didnt tell my mom. I got really, really drunk, and slept over at a friend fo mines house. The next day i talked to her like nothing happened. I'll never drink that much again, and alot of people i know seem to feel that once you get that drunk you know your limits and likely wont do it again. I share this belief. I also had been smoking for a period of time and when he found out i lied about it. I can understand why she would be upset with me, but i lie because she is so, so hard on me. She grounded me both times for two months whch i so understand. She then will say she forgives me, but when i walk in the room the next day she will be crying and will look at me like she hates me. This would go on for at least a week and a half and would be very emotionally draining. I would get very depressed and would myself grow to have negative feelings towards her. I get so nervous around her because everytime i get upset she asks me if im on drugs. I'm not and have told her, but she still looks at me like she doesn't beleive me. There are times i feel like im on the verge of having panic attacks around her, because i dont want to be cut off from my friends for months for something i didnt do. I know i did wrong but i am just a teenager. She is a single mom, and i think she is afraid i will turn into a statistic. It's not my fault my dad isn't around and yet it feels like i'm being punished for it. My behaviour is not unlike those around me. I can't wait to get out of the house. Is there anyway to preserve our relationship without therapy? I know the woman she will go to and all she does is side with my mom on everything.

Answer 1

You need to apologise to your mum. Explain what was going through your head at the time and agree with her that you have done wrong.You really just need to sit done and talk, without a therapist.

Hope it helps and best of luck.

Answer 2

just  tell here

Answer 3

You sound like a really level headed kid, and trust me, much better than I was in high school that's for sure. Your mom is definitely over reacting. If I were you I would print this page right off here and leave it for her to read. Tell your mom that you love her so much for caring about you and wanting what is best for you, but by acting this way she is being selfish. Just tell her how you feel nicely, and tell her that you wish the two of you could have an open relationship where you can talk to her about how you feel and tell her what you have done without her judging or punishing you. Tell her that you are almost an adult and need the chance to make adult decisions on your own, and that you are mature enough to deal with the consequences. And ask her to trust you when you tell her that you haven't and are not going to do drugs, which is better than most teens! You sound like a good kid though, she is lucky to have you. Good luck with everything, and you could always go see a school councillor with your mom, they are there to share your point of view as well as your mom's.  

Answer 4

tell her you are sick of it and you nearly feel like she is your biggest fear.

Answer 5

Hi I am 29 years old and from India. I think all moms care and its nothing to do with hate. I was also a teen and the stuff I did I was very naughty. I am still a virgin not that it matters but I had my own limits though I partied hard all over the world from ages 18 - 27. Now I dont anymore coz of work. but the point is she has to trust you and you have to earn it by being very mature and self driven by your standards. She is a mom and she loves you. She dotes on you to care so much. So dont ever think she doesn't love you. Here in India, our moms are our life. We know they care and this my dear is a universal thing. Just trust yourself and know your limits. In time she will come to know.  

Answer 6

teens experiment with different things like that, its just part of growing up no matter how bad it is. but reputation is everything, if you have been known to do "bad things" in the past then i could see how she wouldn't believe you when you say your not doing drugs. you'll just have to let it all blow over, in the mean time don't do anything "bad" and you will slowly earn her trust back. my best friend had to do the same thing but with different reasons.

best of luck ^^

Answer 7

maybe you need sumtime apart juss to think things over and see wats really on yur minds. stop talkin for like 2 weeks then see wat happens

Answer 8

I can understand how you and your friends think once you get that drunk you won't do it again but hon that just isn't true most of the time. Think about it. If that were true there would be no such people as alcoholics.

Your world is being only limited by your own behavior. It doesn't matter if that's how your friends behave. Not every teen drinks and lies to their parents.

The reason your mom cries is because she loves you and sees a destructive pattern and you won't listen to her and create a better life for yourself now.

You know you sure are being self centered and whats more honey in a destructive way for you. What about your mom? Single and being a parent 24/7 is hard hard hard! Why don't you think about that a little more and give your mom a break. Stop lying and drinking and carrying on. You don't have to behave like that. Its a choice unless you are an alcoholic. In which case then you should get help.? My God she supports you and loves you so deeply. She would die for you actually. I know. I'm a mom. Change friends if they are influencing you. Change schools if you have too. But become a daughter she can trust and be proud of with accomplishments in school etc. She will give you more freedom when you earn it and when she feels like you will be honest and stay safe. Btw too much alcohol can kill you. I know this for a fact! In my own life I nearly died of an alcohol overdose. And alcohol is a liquid drug my dear.