Need help w/14 yr. old daughter to get better grades in school?

Question

I dropped out of high school in my second year of 9th. grade. I'm afraid my 14 yr. old daughter is following in my footsteps. I'm not sure how to go about this, seems how no one really gave me the insentive to stay in school at that age. She really is only failing 2 subjects. But in the beginning, when she first started school her grades were good, so I know, she knows how to do it, she's just slacking a little bit. I've tried taking the internet, cellphones and going out with friends away, until she gets better grades but none of this seems to work. I'm in need of some serious help and I'm not sure where to go from here. Can any one help me? You can email me at [e-mail] or IM me on YahooIM at barrett.bob75 Thank you, Bob

Answer 1

hi, im 14 and in 8th grade. I bet she is doing the best that she can. In the beginning of the school year the work is very easy because its all very basic. It gets very difficult around this time of the school year. Get her into tutoring 2 or 3 times a week so she can get the extra help that is needed. Take away her computer, phone, and friend time during the week so she can focus on school, but give it back during the weeked (as long as shes showing good effort during the week). I dont think adults understand how much harder school is nowadays than it was in their time. I hope I helped a little bit at least.

Answer 2

This is what my sister did when her 13 year old daughter started slacking in school:  threatened to start coming to school with her.  How embarrassing would it be if your dad came to school with you every day and sat with you in all your classes and at lunch?  That should certainly encourage her to do her best!

Answer 3

Being a teenager myself, i would recomend not taking away things, but giving things. My cousin faled many classes last year, but now is getting all A's beacuse his parents promised him a new guitar. Tell your daughter your concerns about her, and i am sure she will turn around.

Answer 4

with every A she gets  tell her you will giver her 10 dollars and with every d to f she gets stuff tooken away or so many days of restriction

Answer 5

Give he incentive to get better grades. Maybe help her out with a car when it comes time for that. Extra allowance.????? something that she will want to work for.

Answer 6

9th grade  is such a pivotal time.  Have you talked with her teachers or counselor at school?  

Here's what I did:

Met with all the teachers (obviously at different times because of schedules) and the counselor WITH my child.  We mapped out a plan with lots of encouragement, time management and ME threatening to attend school every day with my daughter.  

She pulled it together within 4 weeks and we (especially her) all saw a difference.  She initially hung back and was upset I was on her "back", but she soon realized she had a lot of support behind her and was thankful for the jump start.

Advice:  MEET with her teachers and ask for support.  They do want to help.

Good luck!

Answer 7

The other answers are great in terms of what to do at/with school & teachers - I can't really speak to that.  And you've already tried the negative consequences.  What about some positive reinforcements?  

You could, with your daughter, investigate some things she is interested in and might like to do with her life that she would need to go to college/trade school for.  This is really something only you can do, as you know her interests and we don't.   Once she's back on track for this year, see if you can get her some sort of internship/summer opportunity/summer job or even just 1 day shadowing someone who does the sort of thing she might like to do someday.  Not as a pressure situation, more like "that sounds like a cool job, I'd like to see what it's really like."  

This could help focus her on the fact that, even if she doesn't like the day to day part of school right now (maybe doesn't like her classes or teachers this year?) it is going to get her something that she DOES want out of life.

Answer 8

Honestly, I don't see how taking away internet, cellphone and going out with friend privileges helps grades.  Just study with her.  Learn the subjects she's learning with her.  Help her do her homework, steal her math book one night and skim the chapters she's already done.  Make it fun, make up games that she can play while she studies.  Give her rewards, NOT punishments.  I hate punishments as a kid, but I've never found they did ANYTHING for me, except make me mad at my parents.  Make things fun.  Do really stupid things, like have her try to do math problems in pans of cool-whip.  childish, but it could be fun.  Just give her something to have fun with.  A's on tests mean some little extra thing.  All A's you get this privilege, a few B's you get this privilege, and so on.

Good Luck

**if she does get her grades up, make sure you still study with her.  My grades are usually all A's, so my mom refuses to even look at my homework when I ask for help.  It makes me feel sad and unloved.  Don't do this to your own daughter.  Get involved in her life, take her and her friends places too.  Believe me, if she's best friends with you, she will be more willing to get her grades up.