Need help with my 3 month old please please?

Question

i feel like a c**p mum i never understood what my daughter wanted when she was a baby she's now 2.I now have the same problem with my son i'm getting it all wrong people say listen your baby well i think mine must speak in a different language or i'm just rubbish at this :(. Can people give me an idea of there babies routine or any tips i'm getting really down and i'm worried my depression is getting a lot worse so routines help would be very welcome please please help x

Answer 1

3 month olds can be so different. here's some general guidelines, he's probably hungry between every 2 to every 4 hours. And will probably want about 4 oz of formula (if you're formula feeding). He'll want changed when he's wet/poopy (just feel the diaper for squishy-- some babies are VERY sensitive to being wet). If he's been changed and fed, try playing with him, when being silly and playing does not make him happy or he seems irritable it is time for a nap. Good luck.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, it's not YOU, it's your depression.

Talk to your health visitor, or go see your doctor and explain how you are feeling and they should help you with your depression then everything else may fall into place.

Answer 3

FOR STARTERS YOU ARE NOT A c**p MUM! :) you have him in a great routine for nighttime! wish i had that when mine was little :)

i used to have to rock my little girl off to sleep all the time or stroke her face and then she would wake up and really cry if i wasnt there

so in the end i decided i had to give the whole leave them when there crying for a bit routine

it definately has worked and now she sleeps 8pm-8am and has a 2 hour nap in the day everyday.

i only would leave her to cry a minute, then settle her and leave the room,then if still crying leave it for another 2 mins - no more than 3 mins at a time

in the end she realised she needed to go sleep

some people think this is cruel but it isnt.

it only took 3 days for this to work and me and my daughter are alot happy.

she is no longer groggy during the day

she gets up at 8 and has breakfast bath and dressed and then we play.

then around 12 i put her to bed or in her buggy and she has a nap.

then when she gets up we will play and then have lunch/dinner. and then i winde her down for bed time with cuddles and quiet time at 7.45pm

maybe he needs more milk during the day or if you wanted try him on some puree food if you havent already - my little girl started at 12 weeks and he may be more contented then

also have u tried going to baby groups so he can interact with other children and then so can your daughter? because this could help them

try getting your little girl to help out more with her brother and give them both cuddles etc at the same time and this may help her a little as she can prob sense you are stressed and craving for a little more attention

GOOD LUCK xx

Answer 4

I noticed you received some very good advice and encouragement already ...worth noting also that the response was very quick don't you think? I can't really add much to what has already been said, but each of us that have raised children know we need all the village to step up. Patience seems to be a big key for understanding kids, but it is not easy or automatic for anyone. Seeking help for your depression is important, as has already been pointed out.... set that as a high priority. Do you have any kind of help available...family or friends that can give you a breather? You can tell by the response you've received, there are many people out there that are willing to help. Sometimes, all you need are a couple hours to yourself. The good news is that you are aware of your own emotions and are reaching out. Just don't be so hard on yourself. Being a parent is a long-long path. Your present struggle and effort to find answers is going to serve you well as your babies grow up to adulthood. Listen and understand yourself first ..give yourself credit when you know you deserve it. Hang in there!!

Answer 5

Firstly your not a c**p mum! remember you havnt done this for two years, so ti will take time to pick up things. There are various web sites available such as baby centre to give advice on these things. I would advise talking to tour midwife/doctor about how your feeling as it sounds as though you have a case of the baby blues

at the end of the day assess your baby's needs (nappy changing, feeding, winding) and fulfil those first. If crying continues, you can try to soothe the baby by holding her close, rubbing her back or giving her a baby massage. I know how hard it is, so keep at it and you will get there, the fact you have asked for advice shows you care.

Answer 6

Have a chat with your health visitor and explain your concerns.  A 2yr old and a 3mth old baby is not easy so if you are think you are getting depressed, she will be able to sort you out some support.  

Answer 7

Hi my son is 3 now but ive always had a routine for him.

first is wake up breakfast after that let him play a bit with toys.

after that he has always loved pepper pig bless try finding some thing they like to watch so you can put ya feet up for 30 minutes.after that its about lunch time so do them lunch.try getting them to have a nap in the day between 12 and 3pm this always help with my son.in the after noon take him out to the park.by the time he has had a play its time to go home and get dinner on then its dinner,bath,and bed.

try changing the foods to,i found out my son was hipper of loads of foods aswell as baby food in jars.but when i started to feed him different foods like freash veg cooked he well changed.

i found doing this routine with my son gave me more time to my self to witch i think all mums need a bit of a break at least time to time(calling all mums)lol.but one thing i seen some body had put was when he crys pick him up.Dont pick him up as when they cry its because they want you their all the time let him cry abit then go to him.One problem my friend had was that when her daughter was 3 she though every time i cry mummy will pick me up!!they get to know how you work and how they can get round you.

Its like some times you see when you go shopping a child will say to the mum (MUM CAN I HAVE .........) AND WHEN MUM SAYS NO) thats it the child goes off on one in the middle of where ever they are.

with my son he says mum can i please have(only 3 years old)and if i say no he said oh ok.

but i think you are doing very well i have one child i call him my baby and you have 2 its hard work.And im not the only one out here (that i will admit) not every one can get it right.I know i havnt.

i hope this can help xxxx

Answer 8

Oh you poor thing!! My little girl is 10 weeks and doesnt have a routine now set in stone... a typical day starts when ever she wakes from 8am till 10am we usually have a bottle, change bum and get dressed, then we play, have tummy time etc usually we wont sleep much durning the day only napping for an 1-2 hours.Durning the day she feeds every 3-4 hours At night around 5 or 6 she will be unsettled and cry, but eventially will calm down due to being over tried. Will have a bath between 9-10pm bottle and then sleep usually for a block of 5 hours and then 3 hour feeds after that.

Just remember every baby is differant, and not all have routines, dont ever think of yourself as a bad mum!! Remember if your down reach out for support from the people around you, i hope this helps hun, if you need any one just to talk to email me x

Answer 9

Just chill out

I had PND after my son was born and I've suffered from 'normal' depression for years, I thought I was a c**p mum too because I never knew what to do when my son was crying

It's nothing to worry about.....if he doesn't want to eat, sleep or have a clean bum and he's healthy (no temperature etc) then he's probably just crying because he knows he'll get a reaction from you.

I know it sounds tough but I used to just let my son cry it out! He's one now and so placid, it's amazing. The problem is, if you jump up everytime he makes a noise then you'll make a rod for you own back.

I'm not saying ignore him, don't do that at all....it's just that people forget that kids are a h**l of a lot cleverer than they make out!

Answer 10

I got a 3 month old and a 2 year old so dont worry somtimes a kid just needs a good cry good for there longs but usualy at that age they need somthing weather it be food or just a laugh My little one loves her swing but it does get boring so I lay a huge quilt on the floor and let her roll around or just look also if you prop him up and turn a cartoon on they seem to love that and loud toys and bright toys they help give us moms a break lol if you get into  a daily routene it will help calm the baby mine wont goto bed untill she eats a bottle gets chaged and is in pj's can never leave her in a diper lol good luck  

Answer 11

First thing you need to do hunny is put the kettle on, have a cup of tea and calm down!

You aren't a rubbish mother, nor are you failing your baby in any way.

You set the routine, You know that baby needs feeding so many hours apart and nappy changes, naps etc so you make the decision when you are going to do these things.  

Take back control of your life and remember you're the adult, babe will do what he needs to when you are ready!.

Good luck hun, chin up and keep smiling

x*x

Answer 12

try everytrhing....pick him up, if he stops crying you know wut he wants....give him food, stops crying you found wut he wants....just go form there....maybe hes to cold to hot or just tired

try everything

Answer 13

If your first child is now 2, you must be doing something right. There's no set routine for two people thats alike. You set your own. When someone tells you to listen to your baby, they're telling you that you can tell the difference between cries. When it comes to feeding, changing, or just sleepy cries....well, that's timing. If your child starts to cry and it's been about 4 hours since they've eaten then it's just common sense that the crying is coming from being hungry. When my son was small, if he started to cry, there's a routine. First, check the diaper, then try a bottle, then lay them down for a nap. If they are crying and feel hot with a mild temperature, maybe they are teething. If the temperature is above 100, you may need to seek professional advice, there may be an infection somewhere. And then, some babies just cry because they want the closeness of mom (like the womb). Take a blanket and wrap them up snug. You will do fine, just pay attention to the time as you listen to their cries.