Need help with soon to be sister in-law who is a deadbeat and her bachelorette party?

Question

I'm a brides maid in my husbands sisters wedding. His sister is a total deadbeat who only calls us when she needs money. I agreed to be in the wedding only to keep peace in the family. The problem is her bachelorette party which is this weekend. The other brides maids(her friends) are just like her and i'm afraid I will get "stuck" with the bill. I feel they will also come up with some excuss for me to "pick up a gift" and they will "pay me later" if u know what I mean. I don't mind putting in my fair share but at the end of the night but I don't feel like picking up the tab on these losers. The kicker is this is his sisters 2nd marrage! She(sister) told me the 1st one did not count and wants us to treat this like her 1st one(meaning big gifts and parties)

Answer 1

Just say, 'sorry, can't.'  Go bug them NOW to give you the money or cancel the party.  Tell your future-SIL that sorry, her bridesmaids expect you to come up with the ante and you aren't doing it.  Given that this is a 2nd marriage, I think you weren't too smart to accept in the first place.  "Keep the peace' is often a euphemism for lack of backbone.  Get some girl!

Answer 2

I'd suddenly pick up  a mistery illness if I were you -  a tummy bug/stomach flu/flesh eating virus that makes your eyes bleed - nothing too dramatic, just believable LOL

Seriously, I'd make an excuse not to go!

Answer 3

only bring a certain amount of money with you and when they try to get you to pay tell them you brought enough cash with you for yourself and to help pay a little for the bride. After all it is her big day 2nd or not she shouldn't be paying for her way y'all should split her way equally among urselves.

Answer 4

if they ask for you to get the gift, just get something that you would feel comfortable spending alone, if you only want to get her a $50 gift then just spend that. If anyone gives you money than you spent less.

Answer 5

Bring a set amount of cash with you to the bachelorette party. This way if they try to give you and excuse to pick up the tab you can just say, "Sorry - I only have $60.00 cash with me. I didn't bring any of my credit cards."

If they ask you to pick up a gift tell them that you already got her one so they will have to pick up their own gifts for her.

Just try to be firm. If they don't have enough money then that is going to be their problem - not yours.

Honestly, I think that this would probably be the best way to avoid any situations were they can take full advantage of you.

Answer 6

Honey stop letting them run roughshod over you.  Next time someone says oh pick up something and I will pay you later, you don't be going to that store or just tell them  I did that and no you did not pay me later or just "forget" to do it.  Forget the sister in laws dream land lies  it is her second marriage and it will be treated that way.  You need to learn to pass the buck and not get stuck with it but in the end you can only get stuck with the buck if you pick it up.

Answer 7

well simple enough.....

refuse to fooot the bill if they start with this 'pay you back later' inother words you don't front the costs...tell them you can contribute a modest portion, but not the whole thing and that it is up to the MOH to organise/host things...as far as the batchelorette party, you pay for your own way only and a modest portion of the bride's...no more.......you can't be forced to pick up a tab if you refuse to be responsible for it...good luck.