Need helpful advice to give sister who has a broken heart...?

Question

My sister has been with her guy for 7 years. They were high school sweethearts and planned to get married on September 20th. A couple of things to know about this particular situation are: 1.) both he and my sister promised their virginity to each other when they finally got married, and 2.) this is one of my sister's only relationships; she has never experienced heartbreak. Ok on to the story: On August 31, he calls my sister and tells her that he is calling off the wedding and slept with someone, an ex-girlfriend from some point when he and my sister weren't dating. He goes on to tell my sister that he thinks he loves this girl and wants to be in a relationship with her (the other woman; he slept with this girl the day BEFORE he and my sis went to get their MARRIAGE LICENSE!!!...) Anyway, of course my sister is absolutely crushed. Not only is she not getting married, but she has lost the love of her life, and she didn't do anything to deserve that. She wants to believe and hope that there is a chance for them to be together, but I think he may be trying to string her along. He has talked to her several times since the confession and tells her that he's about 80% sure he wants to be with this other girl. He also tells my sister that he thinks that he and the other girl are "one of a kind" but that he and my sister are "soulmates." The saddest thing is that my sister would forgive him and take him back, but it doesn't seem like he even wants a second chance. He tells my sister that with the other girl he feels free and not trapped, like he feels when he is with my sister. He also tells my sister that the other girl makes him feel the real part of himself, and that he's really a bad boy and not the person he was with my sister. I can't make heads or tails of this situation, but I don't want my sister to get hurt more than she already is. Advice from family sometimes doesn't get through, so I thought if she hears it from other people, she might take it to heart. I think she should move on the best she can because she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. On the other hand, I have had my heart broken and she hasn't. It's hard to tell someone this who has never had the experience how to move on because most times, they don't listen. If you do respond, please be kind. If you cannot do that, please don't respond. I would like it if my sister received kind words due to the heavy emotion of this situation. Thank you.

Answer 1

Oh this is much sad I wishing I can help but I just not knowing how , but I hope you sister will find happy again soon I think you love your sister very much ....I'm wishing you both much happy .......Katie from Germany.  

Answer 2

Let her pour her heart out all of the time. They were together a long time and losing a fiance is devestating!  Let alone the SO-CALLED embarrassment of calling off a wedding.  Of course we all know she is better off (since he cheated on her!)  Plus, ask her, would she want to marry a cheater? No matter what the circumstance?  And leave it at that.  Let her come to terms with what happened by putting some well-thought questions in her head so SHE can get her own answers. Does she REALLY love a CHEATER?  And so on and so forth.  If all of her answers to herself lead her back to him, then she made want to go get some counceling, and there is nothing wrong with that.  But right now her wound is still wide open, a gaping hole for him!  Poor thing...  but the last thing she wants is pity.  Help her be strong and move on.

Answer 3

i would like to say that this guy is a slime and i know it must hurt unbelievably for this to have happened to you but, you have to thank god it happened before u got married. There is no way you should forgive him for such a thing he just revealed his true self  hopefully u can take some time to realize him for who he is and maybe u will be able to find your real true love i know this might sound a little corny but  these are true feelings your dealing with and it is  hard to accept reality. I really hope u can get over him because the two most important things in a relationship is trust and honesty!!

Answer 4

You can't force someone to be with another person, when you love someone and want to be with them then you have to go with that.  In this situation, if he feels better being with this other woman then he needs to go with that decision because there's no way it could work out with your sister when he has feelings for someone else. It could cause problems.  I'm not saying that what he did wasn't wrong, because it was very wrong.  Your sister sounds like a great person and he should be begging for her forgiveness.  He didn't just cheat, but he gave himself to someone else when he had already promised it to your sister.  If he really feels as though he is a "bad boy" and actually wants to stay that way, then I feel that your sister can do much better.  She deserves to be with someone who will be true to her no matter what.  This is going to be hard to get over and it's going to take some time, but in the end it could be what's best for her.  God may have other (better) plans in store for her.  Tell your sister that I'm sorry for the situation she's going through.  Also, tell her that she is not alone and in time things will get better.  As her sister you need to be there for her because this may be one of the hardest things she will go through.  It is very sweet of you to think of her like this and ask others for help.  I wish her the best of luck in her future, and I truly mean it.

God Bless

Answer 5

My dear,

             My heart really goes to your sister,I know exactly she feels.I been in that situation too.And sometimes no matter how bad is that person.As we in love  we some times blinded for what ever he made wrong.its good also this thing happen early before they got married.For to know we're only a human make mistakes.I like you to talk to your sister and his fiancie look inside and deep how much they love each othere.We can not judge him too.if your sister is truly love him let her be happy.but as  well be ahead to let your sister it might this man dont love her or might also love her truely.