Need other parents input!?

Question

I am guilty of being one of those mothers who was terrified of SIDS and so I had to have my baby sleeping by side at all times and he is almost 2 now and he has a toddler bed. He will fall asleep on the couch with us at night and then I will put him in his bed, but he wakes up at 3 or 4 am wanting to get in bed with us. My problem is that he can outlast us sometimes at night and I have to make him take naps or he won't and so I am now trying to set bed times and nap time so my husband and I can have some alone time after he falls asleep. This is what I am having a hard time with. Yesterday I took him to his bed and laid him down and said it's time for a nap and I walk out and he keeps getting up, turning on the tv, etc. I have to keep laying him down and telling him and it can go on for awhile. Am I doing this the right way or is there another way? I know I have messed up from the beginning and I am trying to correct it. I have other friends who have kids the same age and they go lay their kids down and tell them to go to sleep and they do. Am I able to fix this?

Answer 1

You are doing the right thing...Unplug the tv, take any and all toys out the room...Just keep doing this until he finally falls a sleep... Tell him it is nap time, and he will get in the bed whether he goes to sleep or not...but he will get in the bed...  

Answer 2

Your are doing it the absolute right way. I know its horrible going in his room every 3-4 minutes to put him back in bed. Dont scold him but tell him " it is nap time this is your bed this is where mommy puts you to sleep do not get up, go to sleep mommy is in the next room if you need me go to bed" very stern voice. make up your own this is your bed and go to sleep saying say it everytime you put him in bed. he will understand that is his bed and not to get out. if this doesnt work then you bring in the scolding for him getting out of bed constantly.

Good Luck your going the right way!

Answer 3

I think you're doing this the right way as long as you don't carry on conversation (dialog) with  him when you keep putting him back to bed.  Just take him in, put him in bed (no dialog).  If you argue or discuss this with him, that's what he wants...it's a game.  Good luck!  It will be worth all of your hard work if you keep at it.

Answer 4

I have kind of gone through the same thing, only it wasn't SIDS, it was just me being a single mom and loving that my son was so cuddly in bed. He first started sleeping with me after he visited his father out of state. His father doesn't get to see him that much, so he allowed our son to sleep with him. So when he came home, he wanted to sleep with mommy. I am engage, and my fiance sleeps over quite often, so it was pretty disruptive to allow my son to sleep in between us if you know what I mean. Anyways, my solution may sound pretty dramatic and might not work for you, but its my advice. My son has been sleeping in a daybed/toddler bed since he was a little over 18 months. He was climbing out of his bed at all hours of the night so I figured it was safer. The first week he fell out of his bed a few times, but this can be lessened if you put a pillow next to his bed. Trust me, he WILL get used to it. Secondly, does the door to your son's room close all the way? The first few nights I had to lay him down, read him a story in his bed, kiss him good night, all the regular ritual stuff and then just walk out and shut his door. This was definitely super hard to do as I could hear him crying and yelling for me. Its easier to do when you can go outside and sit on your porch for 15-20 minutes while he finally realizes you aren't coming back in. He will crawl back in bed and fall asleep. I had to do this 2 times the first week, after that, there haven't been any problems putting him to bed.

He still comes up to my room at 6AM when he wakes up, but I don't think that's such a bad thing. As far as napping goes, toddlers Definitely need a nap if not at least quiet time. Unless your child sleeps at least 12 hours at night, any pediatrician will tell you your child should be taking a nap until about age 4-4.5 years. The way I handle nap time is laying next to him until he falls asleep, then I get 2 hours of quiet time!

Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to do things, its what works for you and you are comfortable with. Having to shut him in his room has been the hardest thing to do, but its been soooo worth it! My son takes a 2 hour nap everyday, and sleeps in his toddler bed all night. good luck!

Answer 5

You are surely able to fix this, but it won't happen overnight.  I agree 100% with Shyann H, and take a much more "attachment" type philosophy of parenting.  Nothing wrong with letting babe sleep with you at all, it's all dependent on your parenting philosophies.  Don't listen to other parents.  What works for them might not work for you and vice versa.

It's a good idea to set a bedtime routine, though, for his sake as well.  Children thrive on routine.  Check out the book "The No-Cry Sleep solution".  If he knows in advance that bedtime is coming, it will be easier for him.

Good luck.

Answer 6

He may be to young for a toddler bed. My son will be 2 in November and I know without a doubt that if he were in a toddler bed he would not sleep during the day, and bedtime would be a nightmare. I was terrified of SIDS and my son slept in my room until he was 6 months and then in his own room, but only with a monitor glued to my ear.

Make sure not to compare your son with other children, he sounds very normal, and all children develop differently. I would advise to ut him back in his crib, he may not be mature enough to control his impluse to get out of bed.  Also it sound like what you are doing as far as putting him back to bed over and over is really all you can do at this point. Remember, your rules are non-negotiable at this point. Once he realizes that, things will get alot easier.

Answer 7

In my opinion you have not messed up from the beginning!

However, you may have to ask yourself if he really needs a nap or not...or if it is just you that would like him to have one?

Two weeks before my son turned 2, he dropped his naps completely.  Up to that point, he was having an afternoon nap everyday for 2 or 3 hours!  I figured he was not ready to give up his nap, but there was nothing I could do about it...he did not want a nap!  Turns out, I wasn't really ready for him to give up his nap! hehe

Sometimes children, especially so young - no need to push them to grow up so fast, they amazingly get there on their own! - need you to lay down with them to help them fall asleep.  Try that.  If it doesn't work, perhaps he just doesn't need a nap.

However, perhaps you could suggest some quiet time?  Something relaxing and quite to do for a little bit to give you both a breather - such as reading, etc.  

Don't worry about what other parents children can or can not do!  All our children are different, but our basic needs are the same!  I am sometimes surprised what my friends children can do but am no longer surprised at all to find out they got them to do that via coercion or punishments/threads/ cry-it-out, etc.  Not the route we take.  

You are doing just fine!