Need some advice on EX who could be Boyfriend again.?

Question

I'm going to make a long story short. My ex and I are talking again. I am currently 31 and he is 42. We met when I was 21 and he was 32. He got married to another female in the time and then divorce. We were still have communication during this time off and on. I had to take a guess and asks him if he was married because he didn't disclose this information. This is not my question to you all. He sent me a pic of himself and he has change. He is a bit older and has flabby stomach. I am not attracted to him physical but love him on mental level. I live in the state of MA and he lives upstate NY which is about 7 hour drive away. Because I am not attracted to him on physical level but mental...I have been putting off meeting him for about 2 years. He has assure me that he has been celibate.. I know I have. I tried not to talk to him anymore but I just miss that emotional connection we have. I love this men on mental level but he does nothing for me on physical. Do you think I can grow into being attracted to him? Do you think I should give up this man who is good to me except with regards to the past. I am trying to forgive him but that is another story. I can't stop bring up the ex and marry thing either. He wasn't honest with me when getting married nor want to answer the question on when he got married. He said I was the reason he got divorce because he still loved me. HELP!!!! ON THIS HORRIBLE MESS!

Answer 1

plzz leave him alone..it sounds like he just came to you because his marriage didnt work out..because if he loved you then he would've married you not the othe girl...but you are young find someone who will love you..not someone who is all flabby and jst needs someone to love him because his wife probably got tired of him

Answer 2

Well if you really love this man like you say....take a chance...it shouldnt matter the way he looks...have you ever thought that it may be a flaw about you...he dislikes...im sure your not PERFECT...LEAVE THE PAST "HIS PAST"...in the past.

Answer 3

Oh my goodness. Well, hun, I'm in a relationship right now that may not work out due to one reason: lack of trust/lack of honesty. I think you could eventually get to love him on the physical level, again. You may just have to hint to him to work out (and once you all start having s*x, he will lose a little weight).  But about the issue.  If you feel he isn't telling you everything, and you know he isn't, you're gonna have a problem. It just won't work out.  Relationships are based on trust,and if you can't trust him, it won't work.  It may function minimally, but happiness may be nonexistence.  Sounds like maybe his wife left him, and now he's trying to snatch you up on the rebound. d**n. You've been putting off meeting him for TWO YEARS?! That's interesting, in itself. If you love him, still, and you can become convinced that he loves you enough to be completely, totally honest, then go for it. Otherwise, you're still kinda young. There's better for ya!

Answer 4

sounds like you should stay away. If you want, date him, but you can't just start being his girlfriend and plan a future together until you guys date and get to know each other in person again. One of you would have to move and it should be him since he claims he wants you so badly that he divorced over it.