Need some advice please?

Question

4 years ago I had this time of my life which was pretty crazy, and I thought it was because I was making a lot of money, that lasted for about 4 months, but went away and i was normal. Anyways 2 years ago I fell into a very depressive stage. I didn't know what to do and I went to the doctor for depression.

He diagnosed me as bipolar type 1. I told him to go **** himself trying to make money off me by diagnosing me with some crazy disorder when its simply depression....i was young and naive before, but i now have a better understanding of things...

Well, this feeling from 4 years ago is back...but 10 times worse.... and im not making a lot of money either.... i think the doctor was right.....

Its gotten pretty bad because i can't think rationally.. I am doing things that are hurting people around me. I already lost a few friends and my sister doesn't talk to me anymore... i do things, then 10 minutes to 3 days later i realize what i did was COMPLETELY wrong. The guilt kills me so much, and then i go to apoligize and they tell me to **** off.....Its not only with people, my decision making skills are absolute c**p right now. When driving I think of the safest way to do something and most dangerous... and i do the dangerous one......i pick non-important things over important things then realize that missed something very important....

I can't stop, also i am very horny for some odd reason, more than usual.....its like my body is in overdrive and i keep doing things i regret. I have a lot of regret.

I live on my own and don't have money like i did 4 years ago to visit a doctor.

I feel that i must stay indoors and not go hang out with friends, meet new people, and even visit my parents and brothers.....my brothers also think im half wacked crazy..........and they are still pretty young...............

While im at it, does this sound like mania? I guess im a jackass for ignoring the doctor.....

Answer 1

You need to do whatever it takes to get some treatment from a doctor before you hurt yourself. I know exactly what you feel like and really speaking from my point of view you need some treatment. It only gets worse with time. You have to get help; it is urgent at this point. Get a loan if you have to or borrow the money or save it up if you can. You must seek treatment asap. God Bless you and Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

You still need to see someone about all of these characteristics that you have habituated over the last few years, so that your life can get back on track.  Either that or learn how to catch yourself before you do it.  

You dont need money to have a lot of friends nor do you need money to make up with your sister.  If you must stay indoors make sure you are attending some sort of course where you can retrain in the field where you can gain suitable work.

Write down all of your positive points and focus on these as you go about changing your life for the better.  Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, you were in denial, but since this is the 2nd time around that you are in the hyper state, you might be bipolar. Try to get a prescription. Hope you feel better. It's not your fault. You inherited it from your ancestors. Talk to your brothers and sisters and apologize for hurting their feelings. Good luck.

Answer 4

It may be OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder, in addition to definite or confirmed Bipolar psychosis.

You are still a valid, rational, thinking and valuable person, so you might benefit from more therapy, and a course of self improvement to put your energies, ideas and intelligence to good use.

It will enable you to feel a lot better, and stop worrying.  Give yourself a break.