Need some advise to see if am wrong.?

Question

i have a 1 1/2 year old, when she misbave i spank her.. but it seems like spanking her does matter to her she keeps act up..so she has a boster seat the she get in when she eatting, and it has stapes...so when she misbraving so bad i put her in there and tell her its timeout, and she in there for one to two mintues and is sitting in front of the TV. am i wrong for doing this..because my so-called mother in law told her son that she was having nightmares about it..and now her son is pissed at me...

Answer 1

well spanking a baby does nothing for that child. my second is two years old. putting her in time out is better she understands. it is researched that your child becomes a more agressive person if you spank them. my daughter was spanked by her father and now she likes to hit everyone else when she is mad. this is what the child sees you get mad so you hit them. they will do the same. time out is the best thing. a couple of minutes is just what they need. any more they forget why they are in there. i put her in her play pin for time out. tell the parent inlaws to stop being so dramatic.  

Answer 2

I have found that i get defiance when i spank and sometimes my daughter gets in trouble for hurting the animals and it makes no since to say don't hurt the animals or i will hurt you (with a spanking).

I bought a timer. That way she has a clue in to when she is done. continuing to freak out adds minutes. NO TV for time out. Time out is a punishment and it does work. it is hard at first. If they get up the time has to start over. You have to have your rules and don't bend them one bend and your child will remember if i do this mommy will give in.

And no you are not wrong for disciplining your child. if you don't do it now you will have a 12-14 year old that walks all over you, is disrespectful and may get themselves in a lot worse trouble then a 1.5 year old. Establish who is the parent now and you will thank yourself latter. trying to rein in a teen who has been able to not be disciplined until they steal a car, do drugs, or sleep with boys, is much harder then starting now.  

Answer 3

The time out should be one minute for each year of the child's age, so your daughter should be in time out (no TV, no nothing) for one and 1/2 minutes.  It's not punishment if she's watching TV.  If you already know spanking doesn't work, then you're right to quit.

Answer 4

i would put her in a corner.  That is where i put my daughter and son when they were little.  i put the in the corner at my dinning table and they sat in this ugly chair i bought for  them.  No one likes to sit in an ugly chair.  But they know when they are being ugly, they will be sitting in an ugly chair for time out.  Find something ugly to sit them in and all you have to do is ask her if she see the ugly chair and that is usually all it takes to look at it and she will straighten them up.  Put her in it at least once so she will remember then after that it is up to her if she still want to be ugly or pretty.Then after 30 minutes being calm and sweet give her some play time (mommy and me time)....

Answer 5

well, I dont think you should strap her in, make her sit there and if she keeps getting up, keep putting her back. 18 months is still a baby, IMO and a little too young to fully understand consquences

Answer 6

You sholdnt be tying her down to get her to stay in time out.  Unless you are talking about the safety straps that are on the high chair?  Time out isnt very effective if she's in front of the tv also.

The reason for a time out is to remove your attention from her.  She wants your attention, and taking that away is a punishment.  Time out shouldnt be amusing tho either.  It should be boring.  It also gives you a chance to calm down.

At her age, time outs should be short.  No more than 1-2 minutes.  Try getting an egg timer for time outs and tell her she can get up when it "dings".

Answer 7

Having a time out is a perfectly acceptable form of discipline.  If your dealing with someone who blows things out of proportion then strapping her while in the time out could seem harsh.

What we do here, and I have a 1 1/2 year old too is we have a time out chair.  This chair is used for nothing else but time outs.  When they get in trouble they go in the chair for 1 minute per each year of their ago.  So she would get a minute and a half time out.  The chair is facing nothing, no TV ot toys.  I sit across the room during the time out w/ no communication- NO TALKING.  If she gets up I simply walk over & place her in the chair again to finish the time.  No matter how loud the screaming is.

Once the time out is over I tell her what she did wrong & ask her to say sorry.  For my 4 year old she has to stay for 4 minutes in total.  If she gets up we start over again.  Then I ask HER what she did wrong.  Then apologize & we hug & kiss better.

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Answer 8

Spanking, I feel, is a parental choice (and by spanking I mean on the rear end with a flat hand). I have found it to backfire with one child; and the only true discipline to which the other child responds.

Time out is great, if you can get your child to understand that they sit there and do nothing (not even watch tv). You could turn off the tv in those instances.

You have to do what works for your child. They are all different and respond differently.  

Answer 9

no TV in timeout ... no toys nothing fun , don't walk away from her and let her say she's sorry before removing her from there .. also don't forget to tell her why are you putting her in there and you cannot give her time out unless if she dose something you already said NO to .  

Answer 10

she shouldnt b watching tv!! pick a different spot for time outs and if she gets up take her back! over and over again until she gets it!

Answer 11

She's only 1 1/2.  Try to re-direct her when she is doing something you don't like.  At this point, she is too young to understand why you are hitting her.

Just ask yourself honestly, are you doing it to help her, or because it makes you feel better?

Answer 12

Spanking a child is a matter of choice.  I have found that it doesn't really work well with some kids.  Taking away something that the child loves like watching T.V. or a binki worked for me.  Time outs work well also.  I definitely do not agree with the in front of the T.V. thing.  Think about it.  The child is thinking I do something wrong and I only have to sit and watch T.V.  not bad I think I'll do it again so what if I watch T.V. I like it.  The consequences have to be severe enough to make the child not want to do it again.  I have a blue little tikes chair and we have named it the BAD chair.  When my daughter does bad then she must sit in the kitchen corner for 5 minutes in the BAD chair.  The fact that it is called the BAD chair makes her hate it even more.  Good luck the terrible Twos are soon.

Answer 13

There is nothing wrong with putting her in time out.  The only thing wrong is the fact that she is in front of the tv.  Find a place in the house that you can see, but that she does not enjoy, and call that time out.  If the spanking doesn't work, stop doing it, it will only teach her to hit.