Need some helpful advice on my situation (helpful answers would be most appreciated)?

Question

I've been w/ my live in partner for 4 yrs and most of the time I'm very happy w/ him. A couple of weeks ago he was going to leave me because he said I was acting childish ( I have a bit of OCD with my bipolar) and I was upset over some spots. Anyway, we sat down and talked things out and he said he loved me blah blah and wanted to work things out. I am suffering with terrible PMS/PMT and I'm afraid that he's going to leave me and I can't help but feel terrified and panicky. I need to calm myself down. I come from America and all of my family are there and I'm living in England. I was actually born in England and grew up in the states but if he left me I'd be all alone and I don't want to be alone and I'm just panicky and I need some advice. I just feel like I can't function right now and all I want to do is cry and I love my partner I honestly do. Have you ever felt like me at all?

Answer 1

Honestly to me it sounds like he is the one being childish.

I'd just keep trying to talk things out.

most relationships fail because of miss-communication.  

Answer 2

Wait a minute!!

You've been together four years, he presumably knows of your condition, and he calls you childish?????

You shouldn't have to sit down and talk things over, he should, after 4 yrs,

have come to terms and accept your OCD behaviour.

Yes I realise it is tough on him as well, but  I think it is he who is childish and totally unsupportive, THAT'S what you need to sit down and discuss.

Answer 3

Because of your Bi-Polar illness it can and does mess with your thoughts and reasoning. He must understand how someone with Bi-Polar and OCD functions. He needs to read about it and study it to help him deal with your mood swings and OCD. I am Bi-Polar and have OCD and I like to tell my closest friends (not anyone else) that some days I have a bad day. When I tell them I'm having a bad day they are more compassionate with me. Are you researching Bi-Polar and OCD to help you understand it and live with it better? You insecurities will cause a break down in your emotions and your coping skills as you stated. People with Bi-Polar and OCD need some reassurance from time to time to let them know they are ok and doing well. Are you in therapy? Are you on medicates? He needs to do his part and read and understand your illness and you need  to do the same to help you live a happy, joyous and free life. Good luck kiddo and remember things are not what they seem most of the time. It is your mind playing tricks on you. Chin up!

Answer 4

Definitely go to your GP/ doctor. Your husband wants to stay with you or he would not have talked with you like this. Panicking will not help. Control your mouth and be calm. Take time out each day to be on your own. If you need to talk or vent then do it with someone else or write it in a diary. Try not to off load on your husband. Regarding OCD that is your business and he should not put pressure on you about it - just try not to let it affect him. Tell your husband that you are going to do your very best. By the way, if he threatens to leave you often then it's emotional abuse you shouldn't put up with - everyone has the right to feel secure and your husband has a duty to support you through this if you are doing your best. I spent nine years married to someone who threatened to leave all the time - it made me so insecure that I became a bag of nerves and suffered the same things you're suffering. I too was isolated like you. As soon as I left my husband I was amazed to find myself happier and I became calm, secure and stable and my problems disappeared. Try to find support from friends, family, church etc. Your doctor should be able to put you in touch with some counselling or a group you can join.

Answer 5

Yes I have.  Go to your GP and get referred for counselling either as a couple or on your own, actually both might be a good idea.  You both need support and it might help him to realise that you are not childish, just ill.

Your GP will also be able to help with the PMS, I found high doses of Evening Primrose had a great effect.

Don't suffer alone, help is out there if you ask for it.

Answer 6

Your partner must understand both the illnesses that you got.  So he will be able to understand your behaviour etc.

Maybe take some medication that will make the symptoms for bipolar illness and OCD disappear.

I also think going to the GP is a good idea, they can refer you to a counsellor, and will be able to help you with your bipolar.

I think you should explain to your partner, your worries etc.

But also you should be able to understand his point of view, and how ur bipolar illness and OCD maybe having an impact on him and his life.

At the same time I think you can try making new friends, like join a club or a society or a voluntary society, you will be able to meet lots of ddifferent kinds of people.

I wish you the best.