Need some serious answers please.?

Question

well im the middle child of five. I have a set of twin sisters and two younger brother and im in the middle. But for some odd reason by the time i was old enough to walk my mother (sam) who adopted me when i was 3 days old hasnt been very much of a mother. All of her kids have done things that she dosent like, or better yet what she would call stupid. But she deals with all of my brothers and sisters and will not deal with me!

my on eof my brothers is a hoodlum, the other one is g*y in which she hates, my twin sisters had babies early and are working regular jobs. As for myself im in school, i dont have kids, and i live with my husband of 3 months now but what im trying to say is.

she has told terrible lies on me, almost had me jumped by four men, assaulted by her friends because of stuff im suppose to have done, she hasnt helped me through college and she kicked me out at 14 years old. my life has been hard!! when she got sick, i quite my job and took care of her for four months and none of the other kids did anything to help her. she called everyone she could name and said i wasn't taking care of her, was attacking her and almost had me arrested!!!.

what is her problem with me? i have asked her since i was 11 years old what is it that i have done and why do you hate me. she will not answer me or talk to me just laugh and call me very bad names! she may even throw something at me.

Answer 1

Over the years I have known many people with such poor relationships with their parents.  However, none of them were adopted, and so I don't think your being adopted is the core of the problem.  The problem is HER... she is basically mentally ill.  

I had a good friend "K" in college who was never good enough for her mother.  All her life, her mother criticized her and lied about almost everything.  Eventually, he realized that her mother was the problem and cut off contact with her parents.  Sadly, she is still somewhat unhappy in her life, she hasn't found happiness in a long term relationship, bounced between several careers, and generally hasn't really moved on in her life since college.

My wife's best friend "S" is the same way.  Her mother abandoned all three of her children when they were teenagers.  She also told lies, which when they came out, profoundly affected all three of her children.  Even through "S" is the one of the three kids who keeps their family together, including looking after her disabled brother, she is treated like s#%t by her mother.

In short.  Move on with your life.  Don't let this woman dictate your life.  You are married, focus on making that a good marriage.  Get a decent job.  Call your dad every once in awhile.  

Answer 2

from what I can tell your better off without her, but also you have become a better person for living with her, yes the years were h**l, but now get out of her life, you have got great life with your husband.

I was in foster care and I am a better person for it, but now i live with my girlfriend and live each day by doing my best, i wanna show i am a better person and i dont need anyone to fall on,

I know this might not have made sense, but I hope you can gain something from it

Answer 3

if you have ahappy marriage, devote your efforts toward having a good relationship with him.  let the other things work themselves out.  this is a problem that if left alone and ignored will probably go away.  break off the contact and disreguard anything that gets back to you.  when they realize that it isn't affecting you then the fun is gone and they will stop.

Answer 4

Oh my god! I think that you should find the nearest shelter or someone to stay with because shes neglecting, and abusing you. It's not okay and she needs help. I would be glad to take you in my house, by I just cant afford the finances right now.

Answer 5

She has a mental illness. She needs help, but if she won't get it there isn't much you can do. Keep your distance and have a happy life.

Answer 6

My prayers are with you.  It sounds like you need them!  You have been an excellent child and I would have loved the opportunity to raise a young woman like yourself.

Your mother is mentally ill.  It's hard to do, but it sounds like you need to say to her, "I love you, and I appreciate you raising me in some ways, however, I can't take your abuse anymore, and I'm getting on with my life.  I wish you luck and peace."  Then walk out.  

Even though you're adopted, there is a need in most of us to get the acceptance and love of our parents.  Sometimes, it just isn't going to happen, because our parents are words I can't say here.  Remember, it's not your fault, and you deserve better.  Good luck!

Answer 7

my sister treats her other kids like that also. and frequently she wont let her kids over my house. but when their father brings them over here secretly we were told she beats them with belts and stuff...

so their situation is just about the same as yours, they are very mistreated...

what my nephews are doing is ( behind their mothers back) going to a dcf worker and letting them no, that none of this is your problem, and you don't feel safe at home because of what she is doing to you....

he dcf workers will help you along, they will get you out the house and get you to be living with someone else...

sounds like this idea would be so much better for you then staying home and getting beat up because she is making stuff up about you..

please consider.

thanks

Answer 8

You sound like such a sweetheart! Well first of all I'd like to point out how kind hearted it was of you to take care of your not so loving mother. My only advice- although it sounds awful- would be to leave the relationship between you and your mother alone. It sounds like you have tried to the best of your abilitiy to get that mother daughter relationship people want, but she doesnt seem to want that. The only explanation of her meanness towards you would be her mental state. She may have some kind of disorder. But just remember that you have a loving husband and he will be there for you. Put your faith in Jesus Christ and He will carry you through this. God loves you way more than any human could ever imagine and He will ALWAYS be there for you and ALWAYS have time to listen to your prayers.

God Bless Your Heart!

Answer 9

Baby, there is nothing wrong with you.  You just got adopted by a

s**+tty mom.  It shows how big of a person you are to take care of her when no one else would.  You feel good about yourself, okay?  She is obviously a very sick (mentally) woman.