Need to get over my dad PLEASE HELP !?

Question

Hi, i know this is long but please i really need some help. 3 years ago my dad passed away from cancer and we were very close. i always went to the hospital with him. he passed away when i was only 12. and it effected a lot of me. in school i always used to be happy and smiles, but i pulled away i started to eat lunch alone, come home from school and stay in my room all day. my mom always used to get worried caused she was out of it too. i think she is bi polar now cuz she keeps yelling over nothing! and my brother lives with us but hes 23 and he always acts mad. ok back to me, i keep crying over my dad. i tryed to talk to my mom but i cant she was close 2 him 2. i tryed to talk to guidce counslers no help, they made it worse. i tryed to talk to my friends, they said oh thats ok. and thats all. i tryed to talk 2 my g-ma and i dont know why cause her and i never liked eachother. i dont know any1 else. so i keep feeling lonley and depressed over my father, i want to see him but i go " who cares hes dead" i need to stop and get over this, but how? i tryed to do everything i love! shopping! food! nothing is helping. they say time heals everything. well it doesnt time makes it worst. everyday is getting harder not better. i dont need medicance, but how do you deal with a loved one who passed away? im trying so hard but its not working. :[ i feel like im going crazy, please help me ! everytime i look at his picture or hear a father- daughter song i lose it.... :[ :'[

no mean comments and any help will do. xoxo

Answer 1

I lost my grandpa to cancer and understand what you're feeling. Grandpa always told me that when I was down I needed to find some influence to get me back up. To find something I'm passionate about and give that my all. Maybe do something in his memory like volunteer your time and help out with kids who are dealing with adversity themselves. Go out there and make a difference in someone's life. Your dad is and always will be proud of you. Remember that.

Hope this helps you and remember to keep your head held up high.

Answer 2

i'm very sorry to hear this, please keep him in your heart forever

he would be very proud of you right now.

Answer 3

well,, first off you really need to stop thinking about all the negatives like "oh, he's dead" thats not going to help AT ALL...i really dont know what to tell you because it looks like you already tried everything i could think of...sorry =[

(but thanks for answering my question)

Answer 4

this is very hard and i am sorry for you. i have had quite a few ppl pass away and hurt, but the way i look at it is if you do something to end your life you may not be together and it may make things worse. but you should be glad for him he went to a better place. he no longer has to worry about all the things he had to before, he is in paradise and wouldnt we all love to be there. my mom always told me the dead are the ones that grieve for the living. yes i lost my dad about 4 years ago right after losing a very close friend, she was bruttally murdered.

Answer 5

Sweetie my parents are both gone now and I know it's not easy and it doesn't get much better with time because I will always miss them or think about them cry and hurt but there are a few things that helps that you might try...The first is prayer the bible says that God can heal broken hearts and since you know your dad is in heaven then pray and pray to be healed...The other thing that helped was just going to the cemetry and I cried and I know it sounds like something a crazy person would do but I talk to them and I said my good byes because I think I was mad at them and I also was hurt then I would get mad at me for being mad at them it's all normal emotions and we all go through it when we lose a parent or a loved one but the parents are hard to get past losing. I spent some time there alone talking to them and it helped I just poured out everything I felt about it and I think it helped to let go and to learn that it's ok to be mad etc it cleared my head and heart some but not all because it won't all go away. Last but not least I realized another thing that no matter how bad it hurt or how much I cried they were gone and I realize that my mom nor my dad would want me hurting like that it was like they was watching me cry and saying to me that isn't what they wanted me to do I knew they loved me and I knew I the only thing I can do for them now is to go on with life and honestly now and then I just smile up to them in heaven because I know that is what they would want me to do. As for you mom she is probably hurting also and scared without him so she reacts by yelling etc. She hasn't gotten over it yet either but she has to keep going and take care of you all the best she can and I think maybe she just worries and maybe she is lonely also so try to understand that just because you don't see her pain doesn't mean it isn't there it could mean she is just trying to be strong and when she goes to bed without him I would bet it is then that she tries to deal with the pain and maybe even release a few emotions that you childern do not see so be patient with her and try to do what would make your dad happy and proud of you! God Bless you and your family I am so sorry for you loss and I hope this helps if you need to talk more please feel free to email me I will try to help you through this horrible time in your life.

Answer 6

You need to talk to someone. You can call 1800-448-3000. This is the Boys Town hotline and they talk to troubled kids all of the time. You owe it to your dad to get some help dealing with your loss. Your dad would want you to be happy and someday you will be able to be happy and miss him at the same time. My dad's been gone for 18 years and I do miss him, but when I talk about him I get to share  my memories of the good times we had together.

Answer 7

I know the last thing you need to hear is "time will make it bearable", but as much as it seems to take forever, you will learn to adapt. In the meantime, I would SERIOUSLY look into grief counseling, I knew 3 people in different situations similar to yours that it really helped.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Hello,

I´m so sorry you are feeling so lonely. I sort of know how it feels. Some years ago, my boyfriend suddenly dyed on a car crash, and I have struggled against depression and solitude myself. When I found out about his death, I felt like somebody had cut my right arm. I couldn´t believe it had happened, I felt I was going crazy of pain, and after the burial, I only felt like sleeping all day long.

At that time a friend of mine, who had lost his father on an accident too,  told me that you can never fill in that vacuum in your life with anything else. You have to leave that space for your father.

I can just tell you that, it is normal to feel extremely sad, and it is normal to feel sovieonely when you´ve lost somebody you loved so much.

Your mom must be depressed too. Sometimes, depressed people become extremely angry, and that anger mixes with the sadness they feel.

My friend I told you about, he is very much into painting now, ttry ed how he has tryed to solve his grief. I myself, have started some writing courses.

But I recommend you to approach somebody who will understand your pain. Maybe a group of people who have lost family members to cancer. You cannot share your feelings with anybody who hasn´t gone through the same experience.

XOXOXO

Answer 9

okay, well i've never lost a parent so i cant say i know what your going thorugh. because i dont &; im not goin to lie. but you just need to think positive. like ... just know that he's better now & that one day you two will meet up again.

just please dont commit suicide. but, yeahhh. just pray, talk to him. it may sound stupid but thats what i did when i lost my grandma from cancer. the last time i saw her before she died, she looked terrible. & i didn't give her a hug or anything because i was scared of her, FOR HER.

ha sorry, but yeah you'll get through this. maybe not the way you want too, but you'll get through it. :]

i am sorry.

Answer 10

Keep yourself busy, find a guy that can take care of you, and advice from my cousin, write like a blog about how great he was.

Answer 11

I am so sorry for your loss.

Some churches have grief counseling. Call some of the larger ones and ask, if they don't have it ask if they know someone who does or if someone there could talk to you.

Everyone experiences grief differently but I think being this bad after three years means you need help. Keep asking and you will find someone to talk to, and don't forget to talk to God and ask him to help you with your grief.

I wish you all the best. Never let anyone steal your sanity. You are doing the right thing to try and be happy again.