Need to improve my daughters temper tantrums asap?

Question

I know I already asked a similar question to this but I didn't get a lot of answers.

My four year old daughter, the oldest of my four kids (three year old twin girls and a three month old boy) throws tantrums like you wouldn't imagine. I used to work in a day care and i've never seen anything like this. She has always been fitful but in the last few months she has gotten completely out of hand She will hold her breath if she doesn't get her way, to the point of nearly passing out, she screams cries throws things kicks drops herself to the ground and her new thing is swearing at us. I don't know what to do but I am noticing her behavior catching on with her little sisters and also the constant chaos isn't helpful with a new baby around.

The problem is Mariella wants everyones attention on her, and to get whatever she wants. Obviously that isn't possible and thus, constant fits. I'd say on average she throws 5-10 tantrums a day Sometimes its better sometimes much worse Need help!

Answer 1

Simply say, "Insert tantrum throwing kid name here" "You were not born a Princess, Be Nice! I am the only authority figure here, I report back to Santa Clause.

Answer 2

Have you tried using a spray bottle of clean water?  As soon as she starts, a short spray in her face might work.  It can't hurt her.  After a couple times, as soon as she sees you reach for the bottle, she will associate it with getting sprayed, and hopefully stop.

My sister's child used to do what your daughter does, holding her breath.  Her doctor told her to turn her back, walk away,  let her do it.  If she passes out, she will automatically start breathing.  It worked!  It was hard for her to do it, but she did.  When her daughter saw she was being ignored. she stopped.

If you feel you have tried EVERYTHING without success, it's time to get medical attention and evaluation.  My heart goes out to you.   = (

Answer 3

Control is the center of this situation.  I strongly believe in removing the child from the situation and putting the child in time out.  If she throws a fit when you're out in public, like in a store, let her know that if she wants to stay in the store, she'll have to stop.  Tell her if she doesn't stop, you'll take her out of the store.  If she stops the fit, reward her verbally.  Something like, "Thank you, "name of daughter".  When you listen, you show me that you're really a big girl."  If she doesnt stop - immediately take her out of the store and put her in time out.  You've got to follow through each and every time.  Reward the good behavior and follow through when you get the bad behavior.  Be consistent.  Good luck.

Answer 4

Having twins and a baby probably makes her feel left out. It sounds like she is throwing the tantrums to get attention. When she and life is calm, sit down and talk to her, ask her why she is so sad. She will probably be able to give you an idea with her being 4 years old. Try to "confide" in her telling how hard a new baby is and how you wish you had more help. She will feel like a big girl that her mom is talking to her like that. Ask her if she wants 30 min's of alone time everyday with you (I know it's hard, ask someone for help) Also, try to include her..... when changing a diaper, I ask my oldest to grab a diaper for me, I ask her to "watch" for the baby grabbing toys that are a choking hazard, I let her feed my son his solids, let her pick out the babies clothes, ask her to hand you blankets and things like binkies. If she feels included it might get better.

As for her holding her breath, she'll be fine. I know it sounds mean, butif she does manage to passout, when she does, she will continue breathing.You have to ignore the bad behavior and encourage the good behavior, sing and hum and pretend you dont even hear her when she is throwing one.

Good Luck, I have 2, they are 16 months apart and i know how hard it is! You have it harder though, lol. Hoped i gave you some ideas.

Answer 5

First of all I totally disagree w/ the person who told you to spray water in your daughter's face - she's not a dog for gosh sakes!  I agree w/ the folks who suggest removing her to her room so she doesn't get the negative attention. This should help w/ the twins who are mimicking her behavior.

I"m sure she's reacting to the new baby and all.  Try your best not to scream and yell back - easier said than done, I know.  Hang in there. I feel for ya!

Answer 6

This is what I do with my daughter...who's tantrums aren't quite like your daughter's but it works anyway...I tell my daughter..."if you're going to behave like that then you have to go in your room because mommy does not want to see that.." I then..if she doesn't go herself....take her by her hand walk her over to her room and leave her there...I make sure she's nice and comfy on her bed to have the biggest fit ever...as long as she's out of harms way I let her go....she then realizes that I will not pay any attention to her acting like that and she stops....and ALWAYS comes out of the room calm and says "sorry mommy" I love it....