Need to make my friend laugh at work any one know any good jokes?

Question

Need to make my friend laugh at work any one know any good jokes?

Answer 1

Three men were lost in the forest and later captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest with the cannibals and get 10 pieces of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather some.

The first man came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explained the second step of the trial to him. First, he had to shove the fruits up his *** without any expression on his face, or he would be eaten. The first apple went in, but when he tried the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second man arrived and showed the king that his ten fruits were berries. When the king explained the trial to the second man, he secretly thought to it would be easy to shove the berries up his ***. On the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, so he was also was killed and went to heaven.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!"

The second one replied, "I know, but I couldn't help it. I was doin' just great when all of a sudden the third guy showed up with all those watermelons!"

Answer 2

where do you hide drugs from a mexican?

under a bar of soap.

Answer 3

well it depends on their sense of humor. if they like blonde jokes then here is one:

so their is a blonde, a brunett, and a redhead. they are all being chansed by the cops, so they all hide in a sak of potatoes. when the cops go to the sak of potatoes that they were hiding in, the cop kicks the one with the brunett and she goes "MEOW !" the officer goes, "ohh it's just a stupid cat." and moves to the next one which has the redhead in it. the cop kicks it and the redhead goes, "RUFF RUFF" the officer goes,"ohh it's only a dog and moves to the last potatoe sak where the blonde is hiding, he kicks and the blonde goes, "po-ta-toe.." and she's caught.

lol hope it helps !

Answer 4

It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so

his father looked up the teacher. He told her that

little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an

avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might

win lunch money from the other kids if he was not

watched closely.

The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the

father that she had handled many such problems

and was very capable of taking care of little

Johnny's urge to gamble.

Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher

and asked her how things were going.

"Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I

think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling

habit."

The father asked her what had happened.

"The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me

ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear."

She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took

him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I

had no mole."

"d**n!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars

this morning that he would see the teacher's @ss

before the day was over."

Answer 5

Why did the mexican push his wife off a cliff??

tequila!!!