Need your opinion on family situation?

Question

My husband and i have been together for a couple years and married a little over a year and we hardly ever get a lot of free time due to his schedule. Well his sister is now complaining that she never gets to see or talk to him. My husband doesn't really know her work schedule cause it varies and she never calls or wants to do anything with him until they haven't spoken for awhile but no time in between does she ever call or anything and she blames him for not keeping in touch and me for him not really seeing her much which isn't the truth at all. Now she wants to just have a day with him by herself and have me stay home. We live in a little town about 25 minutes from where she is so if we want to do anything we have to go there well we never really go do anything much so when we do have to go that way we sometimes try to go to a movie or dinner or something. And we have to drive there cause she can't drive. Also he's 24 and she's 26. Do you think it's a little disrespectful for her to be asking me to just stay home? And does anyone actually spend alot of time with their family after you get married cause people in my family are not like this at all. It's like they still think he's single and i find it very rude.

Answer 1

I can say that it's alright for her to spend time with her brother because since, it seems, that the two haven't had much time after the marriage and his hectic work schedule, she just misses her younger brother. So, look at it this way, it's a personal day for you to stay at home and pamper yourself!

However, you should also talk to him and let him know that while you don't mind his work schedule much, you WOULD like to spend time with him as well, that his hectic work schedule is putting a bit of a damper on that marital fire. Then try and work out a time for the two of you--maybe once a week or two - three times a month--to just spend some couply-alone time, and plan it in advance so that he can have his schedule cleared.

Therefore, he gets his time with his sis, you get your time with hubby and you get the added bonus of time to yourself.

Answer 2

You need to have a priority talk with hubby. Both of you must come to an understanding that each other will come first in this marriage, "forsaking all others", if you took the vows that way.  It is rude of her and the family to think that you should do anything without him or him without you. You two are a unit now. To take one on is to take on the other. Explain your position to him, because he is responsible to explain this to his family. Good luck.

Answer 3

That is the way that he is.  If i go some place then my wife goes with me.  If there is something that you need the to do then go do it.  Try and get him to go with you.  When you are there call her and see if she would like to meet for what ever you like.  Maybe just a drink at a little place so you can get what you like from coffee to what ever.  Just let them know that he is playing his game and you know how he is.  When you get him to go and he does not want to call her then just tell her next time that he was not feeling well last time you went up that way.  They should be getting use to the way that he is.

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Answer 4

respect the fact she misses him, just let them go out...it may bother you and get on your nerves but its one day...let him solve this on his own, relax, hes yours, he loves you, you'll be okay

good luck

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Answer 5

It sounds like he is the problem, let the family know.  If it isnt your fault by no means should take the blame and if the sister wants to see her brother than she should take you with him, your a couple now like two equals one, now what if you wanted to see her husband alone, besides, you got married to him and his family is your family and your family is his family so no secrets, let everybody know why he too busy for them, why do you take the blame?   do you want sympathy? maybe he will feel sorry for you when big sis splits you up.  speak up now dont let the family run over you.

Answer 6

There are times when I go to see members of my family without my husband.....and times he sees members of his family without me.

We're not in competition....and him & I aren't joined at the hip.

I don't see the problem....but maybe I'm more secure than you are in the relationship.