Needing a real lawyer or judges advice!!!?

Question

I have a little girl due in oct. and my ex who left me when i was 3 months pregnant (for another girl) and he will be leavin to go to iraq in nov. I was wanting to know if i could get full custody without him bein there. I still want him to pay child support and i will let him come over and see her as much as he likes. I'm jus afraid to let her leave with him..He still acts like a kid himself and i jus dont think he ready to be come a parent... but he will be back from iraq when she is 1 maybe 1 1/2 but here are some of the reason.

*He goes out to walmart parkin lot and hangs out with his friends -I stay at home

*He still doesnt want to buy her ne thing

*He plays video games allll the time

*He is now livin with his parents

*The only reason he still has a job is because he is workin with his dad

*Me and his mom think he need mental help (at times)

and another thing his mom thinks its a good ideal for me to get full custody... because she knows here son isnt ready for this!

Answer 1

Yes, you have every right to get full custody. You have to take this matter before the district court, and file a motion for full and sole custody. Is his name on the birth certificate, if so, that is an acknowledment from him that he is the father. And that way you can proceed with obtaining child support from him once the child is born. If you have the support of his mother, get a signed notarized affidavit from her and present it to the court to show you have support of what your doing in regards to getting sole custody. Good Luck.

Answer 2

This entirely depends upon your state of residence.

Answer 3

I am not an attorney or a judge.  I was a bondsman and sat in on many cases waiting for my releases to show so I could cross them off.  Family court was the only court I hung around after my people showed.  It was a rather interesting experience.

Unless you have some sort of proof that he is a bad parent, he has a right to his child.  And if he is in Iraq when the court date rolls around, his CO or JAG will file for a new date.  You cannot just have your day without him having his.  And fighting for your Country is an allowable reason for a changed court date.

And family court judges do not want to hear about him cheating.  Has nothing to do with his parenting skills.  Nor does playing video games or having friends.

You would have to prove him unfit by means of a criminal record, drug testing, a mental evaluation by a psychiatrist (his mom and you don't count, you are not qualified to judge that in the court's eyes).

You need a good attorney with the sense to tell you to stick to facts not feelings and only speak of those facts and nothing else.  Opening your mouth too much in court leads to saying the wrong thing and ticking off the judge.

And you are going to have to deal with the fact that this is his child.  You chose to have a child with him.  No one forced you.  So now he gets the opportunity to be a dad.

And if you make the mistake of saying you are scared to leave your child with him without actual supporting evidence and not the opinion of you or your buddies or lay people, the judge just may tell you off.  I have seen it over and over.  And they usually start with ' You weren't scared when you were making a baby with him'.  So choose your words carefully.

And his mom has no say in it.  She does not get to decide he is not ready to parent.  He gets the opportunity to attempt to be a dad.   Just as you get the opportunity to be a mom.  It would be like saying you are unfit because you chose to make a baby with him.  It cuts both ways and the judge will let you know that if you say the wrong thing.

Then if he screws up you can take him back to court.

Answer 4

My honest advice, as a single mother, who went through a horrific custody battle with my first child, DON'T go after child support.  If asked who the father is, tell them the truth about his name, but, give the address of a local motel, and when asked where he works, tell them he was working at the local carnival.  This way, they have his name on record, and after she has grown, you can go after him for child support and they will go back, that way, you reported his name, think of it as like an early college fund for your child, if he wants to see her, let him, he has NO LEGAL CUSTODIAL RIGHTS, or RIGHTS TO KEEP THE BABY without your consent, until after a DNA test is performed, however, with that being said, if you go after him for child support now, and the DNA test is done, he has equal rights as you, and if he leaves the house with the baby at that point, then he can keep the baby.  Just to let you know, now, if his parents or him ask, just tell them that you have already reported him to child support and they will be contacting him about a DNA test, tell your family the same thing, so that way, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT!!!!  And if he starts asking why child support hasn't contacted him yet, tell him to contact them, tell him they have his name, YOU'LL be telling the truth after all.  Good luck, and may God Bless YOU AND YOURS.  Trust me, that little bit in child support you would get, does not touch the attorney fees and stress you would have to go through for a custody battle.  Just in case you don't listen, just to let you know, the parent who spends the most amount of time with the minor child usually gets to be the primary custodial parent, but, do you really want him to have even joint custody?  Do you really want to worry for that childs ENTIRE LIFE, that if you do one little thing wrong he can take you back to court for full custody?