Negative comments whilst pregnant from so called friends?

Question

Has anyone else experienced this.It's really annoying and upsetting when so called friends make negative comments and try to frighten you that you'll lose your baby.Do you think it's lack of tact or jealousy?

Whats the best way to handle them?

Answer 1

Hi...I have one for you.  I was 39 years old when I got pregnant with my first and only child.  I was watching my sisters girls, because she had no one else to watch them (they were 9 and 10) so I volunteered.  One day I was on the phone to my (ex) husband, and she was listening to the conversation.   I was upset because he was supposed to pick me up and couldn't, and my sister didn't like the conversation, and after, started reaming me: "Listen to you, how selfish you are."  she said.  I couldn't believe my ears, for that to come spewing out of her mouth, when she had no clue as to my affairs.  I stopped watching her kids for her, and didn't speak to her for 10 years.  To this day, she still believes that I was the one with the attitude.  That's the way it was with my whole family. I was second oldest, and the rest of the 7 kids were all selfish, self-centered spoiled brats. I don't have anything to do with any of them anymore, because they are still the same.  I did what I could to help my Mom when I was around, because when she got divorced when I was 10, taking care of the household was too much for her, and she had to go to work. So I took care of everything I could, since age 10, and this is still my brothers and sisters thinking.  This kind of thinking, as in yours, is lack of tact, lack of proper upbringing, and selfish, self-centeredness.  Now, when someone says something to me that is none of their business, I tell them to "Shut the h**l up."  For someone to push me that far, and cause me to have to say that to them, shows that they needed to be talked to that way, to get my message across.  Good luck to you and your baby.  I'm sure you will be a good mother.  

Answer 2

I've had a miscarriage in the past and I had a friend say so do you think this one is actually going to stick? I'm not sure how she thought that was ok, but I just smiled and said I hope so.. Then I was talking about buying clothes that were neutral s*x since I don't know yet what it is and the same friend goes is that such a good idea you don't want baby clothes if there ends up being no baby. That time I snapped and asked her what her problem was. She said she didn't realize it was so wrong to say that she was just keeping me aware in case things didn't go well, she didn't want me to get my hopes up. Needless to say we really don't see much each other now.

Answer 3

It's immaturity at an extreme.  These people have no class.  For anyone who makes negative comments or tries to frighten you, put the ball back in their court.  I would say something like, "Why on earth would you ever say such a thing to someone who is pregnant?  Does your brain ever filter what comes out of your mouth?"  Now you've put them on the defensive and there is no defense for that type of behavior.

Answer 4

I had the same problem with my best friend. She was not excited for me and seemed annoyed when I talked about the pregnancy. Then she was mad when I found out I'm having a girl. (she's always wanted a girl, and I always wanted a boy.) I text messaged her from the hospital because she wanted to know what I was having,( I only found out because she wanted to know, I wanted to wait) and she didn't even respond.. I was pissed. But now she's pregnant too, so now she wants to talk about it.. it's pretty annoying.

Good Luck, and hang in there, they'll probably come around when they get to see the baby.

  

Answer 5

I did experience it-- mostly from nosy coworkers.  Everyone has a story to tell you. Mostly they are very annoying too.  But I think deep down they want to help.  I think the best way to handle it is to remember what NOT to do to other pregnant women down the road.  Just tell them that you are listening closely to your doctor and only believe what he/she tells you.  Then do your very best to let the comments go out the window.  You don't want to be stressed out at this beautiful and delicate time.  

Answer 6

I have had some friends who I thought would be excited for me and my husband make very negative comments about us expecting.  I honestly think it's jealousy.  A lot of these "friends" are stuck in ruts of not having jobs, being at the bar every night, still "out there" dating etc.  I just ignore them.  My true friends are excited for us.  Going through something life changing like pregnancy sometimes just shows you who your real friends are.  Don't let anyone bring down your excitement!! Good luck!

Answer 7

maybe they are just concerned for you?

i was at risk for losing my pregnancy, i was high risk and on bed rest the whole time.  remind your friends that it is best to surround yourself with positivity so try not to add stress by such comments.

Answer 8

I think it is just jealousy, you shouldn't worrie about them.

Answer 9

It's just tack less they mean well but they just don't know how to word it or when to say it, some of those old wife's tales are true I didn't believe that reaching would wrap the cord around your baby's neck and I reached my whole pregnancy and guess what the cord was wrapped around his neck, all because I didn't want to listen to anyone.

Answer 10

lol yeah im underage. and pregnant and my friends always say

your ruininq your life your to young to be pregnant and blah blah

blah but its your life.. at least you have somethinq to look forward to

best answer is just to ignore them if they were your real friendss

they*ll support you 100% even if they didnt want you too...

have a talk with them.. and tell they its your decision.. and your

not qoin to do what they want you too.. that if they were your real

friends they*ll support you no matter what