Neighbor's kid needs ride from school to home - but they want to pay me?

Question

My kid will start half-day kindergarten soon. A neighbor's kid is in his class, and this nice little girl needs a ride home everyday after school at 12:10 pm. They have a nanny for their baby, and nanny can't drive.

There are lot of moms who provide dropoff service at regular school time, but this year there are none doing it for Kindergarten.

The mom asked me if I would pick up her daughter along with my son, and I said fine. She offered to pay, but I said no as I don't want to do it for money, and can't legally too. They live only 10 houses down, and is no big deal for me.

Her husband has told her she can have me pickup the kid only if they can pay me, else the nanny has to walk to school with the 6 month old in a stroller, takes about 20 min each way.

She is really desperate as she doesn't want the nanny out with the baby in a stroller when it is cold etc., and so is insisting I accept money for doing it.

question 1: am I being too difficult or picky in not accepting money?

question 2: Is there any other way we could work it out? I suggested she contribute $ to our Kindergarten class every month instead of giving it to me. Her husband said no, it has to be given directly to me.

Any ideas other than me accepting money? I hate to think of this kid walking home with the nanny while I'm driving my kid home. It is a good 15 minute walk for me, and perhaps 20-20 min for a 5 yr old.

Answer 1

Well, a 20 min walk would be better for both your families than driving all the time! That said, I can see why you might not want to in the winter.

I don't know how it works in the US, but in the UK while you'd need licenses and stuff to be paid for driving, it would be perfectly legal for the other family to make a contribution to the cost of the fuel you use while transporting both kids. I would suggest you figure out the mpg your car gets, multiply that by 10 times the distance to school (you have to go there and back each day 5 times a week) and then every month he can give you the money for half the fuel you've used. If you're not comfortable accepting it, then just donate it to the class or your favourite charity yourself. (Her husband may want to pay you so it's tax deductible or something.)

Alternatively, can they drive your son to school in the mornings (once he is settled of course) - that will save you time and fuel, and be better for the environment too :)

Answer 2

Ur not being picky your just doing it out of the goodness of your heart. I personally think you should just accept the money for the sake of the little kids that have to walk home.  

Answer 3

Seems strange that you cannot legally accept some "fuel money" from another parent for driving their child to/from school. I have never heard of a law like that. (not saying I don't believe it, just that it's odd!)

If the parents are insistent & you want to save the child, and the poor nanny, this twice-daily trek, then perhaps you can work out some agreement. What is this "going rate" thing? This is like an actual business or something?? Perhaps you can agree to a small sum - say $10 - 20 per week. Then the parents don't feel as though they are "using" you and you can pass it off as "fuel money" (whether to make yourself feel better, or to save face if you are worried that others in the area would look down on you for accepting the money.) You could then either donate the money to the class in the child's name or save it up & give it back @ christmas or her b'day :)

You never know - if the kids are in the same class they may start to play together - then you could use the money to take them both to the zoo or something!

Answer 4

I would just take the money if they are going to be that picky then give it to the little girl.

Answer 5

I would take the money, but maybe less than the going rate, and pick a charity or something like that to donate it to. here are some ideas:

* buy babyfood and formula for a local food bank

* buy new toys for a local charity at the holidays

* buy classroom supplies for the children's class at school

* "adopt" a family in need during the holidays...there are agencies that will give you basic info and a "wish list" for needy kids.

it seems as though the family "needs" the help that you can give with a ride home from school, but since they are rather affluent, they want to pay you for your help. Since you do not feel comfortable taking the money for your personal use I think you should "pay it forward" and help someone who does need the help. My friend just went through a divorce and is in a tight financial spot. I occasionally help her with groceries and stuff. I know she is a proud woman, so I told her not to worry about it, but one day when she CAN help someone to pay it forward. She has offered to help me with yard work (that my hubby does not have time for) and organizing my home. it does not cost her anything, do I told her I would love the help. Does that make sense

Answer 6

So let her pay for your gas there is nothing illegal about that.  It's not like you are running a bus service, you are simply "carpooling" kids.

Answer 7

Taking fuel money should not be illegal... You are not putting out your vehicle for hire. I agree with the earlier comments, if it is that big of a deal (sounds like Dad doesn't want to look like a cheapskate) then take the money. Give it to the class, charity, whatever. Offer to accept $10 a week or so! If it is a 15 min walk then it isn't $8 in gas- even here in California!  

Answer 8

Take the money, and if you don't feel right keeping it, buy supplies for their class.

Answer 9

Save it and you contribute it to the kindergarten class. Or use it for a treat for the kids once a  month.  

Answer 10

accept the money and get over it or dont and feel bad? its hard to take money for something you are happy to do anyway...but some people insist if only to allow themseleves to feel comfortable. so let them and dont complicate things for yourself, be happy!

Answer 11

If you want to help them, try to find out why they want to pay you.

Could you meet with both parents and ask why?

If you feel wrong about accepting money, try to think of another way they could return the favour. Shovelling snow, an afternoon of help building a shed or painting, or something related to their profession.

If it doesn't work, don't feel badly. A twenty minute walk is no problem for a healthy active five-yr-old, even in the coldest weather. On the contrary, it's good for kids to get used to getting themselves around on foot, builds confidence (and muscles).

We walk a brisk 40 minutes (uphill!) to school, although I must admit we do accept rides when the thermometer drops below zero!

Answer 12

you do not need a liscence to drop the kid off. Just ask for $5 for petrol. If it helps her out then ask for a small amount to keep the hubby happy

Answer 13

I would think that if you have rejected the money and made it clear that you do not "expect" it from them and they still want you to take the money in return, take the money. It cant be that much and clearly they have the money to offer if they are that determined to have you take the money. Maybe, once a month instead of taking the girl to the nanny you take the money and take your child and theirs out to lunch and maybe a fun afternoon. That way you wouldn't feel like they were paying you as much and then the money is still used partially for their child as well.

Answer 14

The only problem I see here is her husband being such a control freak.  It would be perfectly legal for you to take gas money.  I have never heard of needing a license to carpool.

Answer 15

My gut reaction is that you should not do drive the neighbor's child.

Funny things happen when money changes hands.  The family's insistence that you be paid directly is a red flag to me.  If you did accept money, they might begin to expect more from you than you are willing to do.  There is some reason behind their insistence that you accept this money instead of trading favors or making a donation.  

Since the family is affluent enough to afford a nanny, they can figure out another way to get the child to school.

All the best.