Neighbor question, I don't know what to do about this.

Question

Ok so we moved into a house last December that was forclosed on and the neighbor right next to us has been mean and ignored us, and I smile & wave at her and she turns her back on us. I don't know why she hates us, we have 2 small kids & they have 3 kids. We never do anything we're quiet and don't have any pets. When we 1st moved in, it had snowed a lot and the man snow blowed everyone's driveway all along our street except for ours. He only did this two times, so I know he doesn't make a habit of doing it, they just did that to make us feel unwelcome. She has people over to do work on her house, and this morning I look out & there;s a truck w/ a trailer full of lumber in my driveway, completely blocking anyone getting in or out. So I yell out the window "what are you doing in my driveway?" The guy says that my neighbor told him we didn't care if they used our driveway. I never even talked to this woman, when we go outside they run inside, or she turns her back to us as to act like we don't exist. Her kids ride their bikes up & down our driveway. I don't care b/c they are kids, but shouldn't she at least be friendly toward us? When I have waved at her kids, they give me weird looks and walk away. When we 1st went w/ the realtor to look at the house, the neighbor ran over here & asked what was going on and the realtor told her she was showing the house, and the neighbor said "already? Well, the ppl. who lived here before were great neighbors, we're concerned who might move in" and we had our 9 mo. old with us, and I was pregnant and we kept trying to smile at the woman, and she completely ignored us and would only look at or talk to the realtor. My mother in law came over to clean before we moved in & the neighbor yelled over to her "they finally sold the place huh?" I don't understand these people. What should we do? I don't want them to tell the whole neighborhood bad things about us, so I have been keeping quiet, my husband & I aren't fighters, we're pretty passive about things but I don't want her to walk all over us either. The neighbor on our other side told my husband that the ppl. who lived here previously got forclosed b/c the wife had a drug problem & wasn't paying the bills. How are they better neighbors than we are? How do I handle this situation?

Answer 1

Bake a cake and take it over to them as a peace offering.  If they refuse it, smile, take it back and try not to do anything that will possibly offend them (Which in this case may be impossible.).  If they take it, then you might have at least made them tolerate you better and maybe make them your friends.  There is an old saying that goes, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar".  They may be experiencing the loss of their former neighbors like a death in their family.  It may take much time for you to be accepted.  Hang in there and don't stop being nice as much as possible.  I would also try to make friends with the other neighbors around you so that maybe one of them can help you be accepted.  You can't have too many friends you know.

Answer 2

You handle it with grace & dignity.

Do not stoop to her level, but do not

brown-nose her any longer.

Her friends hit hard times and lost their house.

It had nothing to do with you, although she is set out to make you sorry for buying their old property.

She wants to make you move so that she wont feel as if you got a deal out of her friend's loss.

Answer 3

A good lesson in life is to avoid the dungheads.  Most fortunately for you they don't want contact, except for that aggressive driveway thing.  If you did become sort of friends how woulld you get rid of them?

Good fences make good neighbors sometimes.  your inclination to passivity can be usefull as it gives you patience.   After ignoring for quite some time things may normalize.  I had a neighbor who bothered, swore at or confronted anyone who moved into our 3 tenement house.she would yell from her porch over to our place often.  Sometimes I would call back biblical verse humorously.   Her kids often came over to have someone to talk with or to ask advice of, always on the front stoop.   She eventually found other people to  bother including people walking down the sidewalk.  You have no need to need her acceptance...   She really wants attention, deny it.