Neighborhood Dinner Party Under-aged Drinker

Question

Hi, I'm looking for tips on how to handle an awkward situation. I live in a very small condominium complex with my neighbors, all of whom are all in their early 30s to mid 40s. We take turns hosting a monthly dinner party were alcohol is usually served. A new couple has moved into our complex and they are both below the legal drinking age. We invited them to our most recent dinner party, and they both helped themselves to wine and beer. While I could personally care less, two of my neighbors are police officers and are uncomfortable “contributing to the delinquency of a minor”. My turn to host the next dinner is rolling around and I am wondering how to handle the situation. Should I speak to them privately, though I hardly know them? Have one of the cops jokingly card them? Not invite them?

Answer 1

have the police officers talk to the new couple

the new couple probably does not know about all the finer points of the law and it would be nice for them to know

the officers, hopefully, are trained to deal with having an "information" visit with them

and can tell the new couple that they don't have to come to the party if they don't want to...they can wait until they are old enough to drink legally

but they are welcome to come for the fellowship and food and fun just that the other neighbors are uncomfy with serving underage people and not to be hurt if they are not served the adult beverages

Answer 2

I would speak to them privately. I would tell them that while normally you wouldn't mind them drinking, its just that two of your guest are police officers and you don't want to put anyones job in jeapardy. I mean that sounds reasonable enough. You are only trying to protect yourself and your other guest who happen to be cops.  

Answer 3

The bottom line is this.  If you are hosting the party and someone else calls the cops, you are on the hook for them.  Not them, you...  The two cops that are there should know this.  Do you want to go to jail for a stranger?  God knows I wouldn't.  Nor will I ever?  If you invite them to the party that you are hosting, flat out tell them if you are underaged you're not drinking, its your house, it your responsiblity.  They are young and probably don't care if you get arrested...

Answer 4

Check the laws of your state.  In most,  if you give alcohol to a minor you can be charged.  If that is the case in your state,  then you need to go to these neighbors before the next party that you host and inform them that they are welcome to come to the party but under no circumstances are they to help themselves to the booze.  Inform them that if they do so they will be putting you at risk of arrest and you do not desire to run that risk.  

Having laid out the ground rules before they even show up at the next party,  you should have no problem.  If they are mad at you for telling them ahead of time then they will simply not show up.   If they are willing to accept your rules,  they will come and not drink.  If on the other hand they show up and start drinking,  you can pull the cops aside and tell them you told this couple not to drink and now they are drinking and you would like their help in asking this underage couple to leave.  This way the cops will know that you did take action to prevent the underage drinking in case some other cops show up to bust you.

And do not worry about about making life time enemies.  

Find out when the youngest is having their 21st birthday and throw them a big condo birthday party.  Whatever resentment they may have had will be gone when they are the center of attention and receiving some gifts, including enough booze to open their own bar.  

Answer 5

Next time you have a dinner party, serve all the drinks yourselves and don't allow anyone to serve themselves.

Giving them soft drinks when they ask for wine or whiskey will get your point across.  

Answer 6

You can do one of two things:

1. Don't invite the couple. Just because they were invited once doesn't mean it's automatic every time.

OR

2. If you do choose to ask them then, you should explain the situation, in full truth about alcohol. You are the adult here, you know what the consequences could be. The choice is yours.

Answer 7

Local cities are cracking down on underage drinking. The police officers in your complex are doing their jobs (good for them!).  I suggest you talk to them privately. Give them the option of attending and drinking soft drinks, water or some other non-alcoholic beverage. Or,they can stay home. Also, let them know that if they are caught by anyone at the party, drinking beer, wine or whatever, they will be asked to leave.

Serving minors alcohol can land you, your husband, roommate or whomever shares your condo with you in jail.  And judges are non- too sympathetic.

Think about it before the next party. Maybe have a meeting with other condo members and form a united front.

Answer 8

You need to speak privately to them first.  Tell them that you don't want to  get fined for serving minors.  I actually think you all should have stopped them when they did it the first time.  It's not a big deal... until you get fined.  This time, the cops in your neighborhood could call their on-duty buddies, and you would have YOU, not THEM to blame.  If the underage neighbors refuse to follow the rules, kick them out of the party.

I would not suggest you let the cops jokingly card them.  That belittles the issue further and makes the cops lose some of their own credibility in the complex.  Again, take care of this problem now before you or someone else gets into trouble.