Neighbors driving us crazy!!?

Question

I live in a building with 4 apartments- one has my husband and i, one is another couple, one is the landlord in his late 80's, and one is a single middle aged woman.

The problem is- we never have privacy. From the moment we wake up in the morning until 11 at night our neighbors are knocking on our door- to chit chat, borrow something, ask a favor, etc (One is knocking right now because she wants me to "bless" her by circling burning sage around her.

It is always something.

My husband and I are private people. We have never invited any neighbors into our apartment, but they push or ease their way in.

We are so sick of it that we have just stopped answering the door.

What can we do without being terribly rude??

We do share an exit from the gated yard with these people- so we always will have to see them- but how can we get them to quit coming to our house and thinking they are invited in????

Answer 1

The sign is a good idea, but if you leave it up all the time...they will start to ignore it. You really have to tell them what is on your mind. Do it by not hemming and hawing about private time.

Something like " Listen, you guys are great neighbors, but you are over here just a bit too much. Maybe we can set aside one night a week to hang out together. I would appreciate it if you do not come over un-announced, and not come into my home without an invitation."

See? Nothing in that is rude..just truthful. I have seen many an advise columnist suggest pretty much the same thing.

If they ignore that, well..it might be time to start ignoring them. But just hanging up a sign is kind of like dumping a thimble of water on a campfire. It might get rid of part of it, not all. And it will just flare up again.

Answer 2

tell them off and say you really need your privacy! be strong. or just burst into their apartment and do what they do and see how they like it.

Answer 3

You have to be strong and say 'I'm busy right now'.  I used to be bad on doorstep hawkers (and telephone cold callers) but now I say 'Thank you for calling but I am not interested, goodbye' and close the door (or end the 'phone call).  I know you can't say that to your neighbours but try the 'busy now' ploy.  

Answer 4

Well, that's pretty tough. But I just wouldn't answer the door for a while. I've known people with this problem, and eventually after ignoring them, they just stopped bothering them. I don't know if that's being rude. But I'm sorry about your problem. Or if the landlord isn't one of them, you could talk to him. And if the nighbors want to be as friendly with you as they seem, they should be able to handle you telling them.

Answer 5

Put a donot disturb knocker on your door.Tape up something by the mailboxes about personal space.

Answer 6

to show them what its like being you you should try the same thing. It's not being rude as they are doing the same to you. If this does not work then just say plainly I'm sorry but you can't come in right now. But if this does not work, then just invite some of your friends in too, so it won't be too awkward. Even though you are private a little party is WAAAY better than having and annoyance for your whole life. If all else fails just MOVE.

Answer 7

tell them to call first, then dont answer the phone (or if you answer, say youre busy). if that doesnt work youll have to be a little more blunt.  

Answer 8

Do like my husband and I did..place a pretty sign on your door that says"Private Time..please come back later..Thanks!" That way you aren't being rude,but they should get the msg.!

Answer 9

Have you tried telling them and not us?