Nervous about datiing a none Jew??

Question

im a jewish girl but not religious at all. i believe in god and all but am not religious, do not celebrate any holidays and stuff. recently, my therapist, who is a religious jew says a jew can't be joined with someone of another religion or they will be very unhappy and lose their soul.

she isn;t a bad person just probably stating what she believes in.

this really scared me because now i am in a great relationship with a guy i love very much, who treats me well. he isn't jewish and i feel unsettled because of what she said. :(

please give me a short answer on what you think or agree or disagree? i feel scared.

Answer 1

Personally, I don't think you are going to lose your soul and I am sure the books that are your Bible don't either.....

I am glad you believe in God, so do I , but knowing Him and how much He adores you and the other person you are with, I think He is more likely wanting you to be suitable for each other....And that takes a lot of being willing to bend and change with anyone, not just if they are of the same  back ground as you.

Unhappiness comes from not being in agreeance, making agreements with another that you really aren't truly happy with just doing it to keep the peace. (Big killer in relationships of any kind).

..also are you more worried about disappointing your parents or even the therapist with carrying on this relationship? Maybe you need to learn individuation, the process of making decisions that may disappoint others, and learning your lessons through mistakes and learning to grow. At least they are your mistakes and you can't blame anyone else. (Not that I am saying this is a mistake,  I am just making a point).

I think you have a lot ot discuss with your partner, and negotiate things with him , the therapist isn't in the relationship, so what has it got to do with her?

It is wonderful to have someone treat you well, and this is a good quality to have, image if he was a Jew but treated you poorly would that be a better foundation, I don't think so.

Think a few years down the track though, about what you enjoy about being a Jew, what you believe and see if it will cause problems in the future with your partner when he doesn't believe the same way...Kids doing the coming of age thing, that sort of stuff...and work it out now.

Communication is a big thing.

All the best with your life, and I wish you well.

Mel

Answer 2

She has put things in rather simplistic terms in order to drive the point home- Judaism forbids Jews from marrying non-Jews.  On top of that, under Jewish law such a marriage is not even possible- there is no grounds in the halachah under which such a wedding can be recognised.  Obviously a civil marriage is always possible- but it would have no religious validity.

Now, this is all from the Orthodox POV- the liberal movements aren't as trict and there are many Reform Rabbis that will perform mixed marriages.  however, if you want you children to be Jewish, or your grandchildren to be Jewish- the odds are stacked against it and the current statistics show only a minority of children from mixed marriages remain Jewish- and even fewer in the second generation - by the fourth generation only around10% of your descendants may have any connection to Judaism

Answer 3

Well, I've been born a muslim, and remained somehow religious, for so many years, before I find out I'm actually a non believer in all religions, and this is the perspective I'm going to speak from!!!. It really doesn't matter what religion the other person is, as long as he/she respects you and gives you back the warm feelings you deserve. we don't judge the goodness of people by their religion but by their actions and behaviors. Always assume that people you meet for the first time are good people until they prove otherwise  

Answer 4

Religions have been using their doctrines to manipulate people for a very long time.

God never put any labels on anyone, Jew, Christian, Muslim etc. People did.

God loves all souls, all souls are equal - and each is as entitled to love another freely irrespective of race, colour or creed.

With very best wishes for your future happiness. UK

Answer 5

She was stating a belief, and using that to cover everyone really, saying that two people of a different religion wouldn't be happy. I strongly disagree with that...she has completely left out that people of different religions can still love one another, and respect one another. If you have those things... you can be happy.

Answer 6

No, not really.

Answer 7

You said you're not religious. The therapist was talking about a religious problem. Math.