Nervous around ugly people?

Question

I dont know why but I get so nervous and shy around ugly people.

By ugly,I dont necesarrily mean they are ugly or unattractive at all ,but I just dont know how to put it in other words.

I get nervous around people with crooked teeth, zits all over the face, double chin,fat lips, lazy eye ,Big eyes, or whatever there is , I always seem to notice a flaw. I try to look at there eyes when there speaking but My eye automaticaly stares down to there flaws.I just dont want to be rude at the person, and I constantly try not to stare at there faces ,and I get so nervous, so I stare at the ground. In the future I want to be a fashion designer so I dont know if this is just natually innate within me, to be able to notice every flaw in detail.

Are other people like this?

Answer 1

You CAN help yourself. It doesn't matter how "nice" you are. Being evasive is even worse. You're just superficial and protected. And you're unfortunately egocentric if you think this is more of a problem for you than the people you talk to.

You say you don't want to hurt their feelings? Yeah, sure. You mainly just don't want them to notice that you're uncomfortable around them. Be honest with yourself. This is your ego problem. That's what makes you act like a wierdo-human.

Oh, well. That's just the way you are. That's your flaw. Live with it and know that you can always get over it.

Others can't get over their physical flaws so easily as you could get over your psychological flaws. Perhaps it's just as well for you that you've chosen a superficial career so that you don't have to be exposed to your perception of human failure and flaw every day.

If it really disturbs you then maybe you can train yourself out of this disadvantaged mindset by working in a carehome or burns unit of a hospital part time as a volunteer. Then you might get used to seeing different looking people and not make them feel so self conscious when you look at them.

Good luck :)

Answer 2

One must learn to overlook anothers short comings in order to see their own. Cast ye not the splinter from anothers eye, Rather the beam from thine own !

Answer 3

There are other people like you.Its nice of you to consider their feelings but you have to find some self control,you make people feel bad.

Answer 4

I notice peoples phsyicality  a lot and i am an artist so yes I guess we don't airbrush out zits but just look. To stop your eyes wandering fix them on the bridge of the persons nose.

Ask yourself what your fear actually comprises - it might turn out to be something simple - try free writing about it to see if you can discover more. fears are always simple when unpacked a little like from an old fairytale of the ugly witch.

I am old now and it has evened out over the years - someone  I knew who had an ugly face like a sack of potatoes was the most beautiful and greatly loved character and when she was moved actually changed -her face shone -

You get used to it and continued exposure to and experience of people changes your outlook there is nothing quite so ugly as a beautiful flawless face which is underneath cruelty personified.

Answer 5

look in to the persons eyes and think of something else sing a song but pay attention like sort of zone out on their eyes LOL

Answer 6

I THINK ITS KIND OF HUMAN NATURE TO JUDGE PEOPLE BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PREJUDICES WHETHER WRONG OR RIGHT. BUT I THINK PEOPLE WHO NOTICE A LOT OF FLAWS IN OTHERS MIGHT HAVE INSECURITIES IN THEIR OWN LIVES AND OWN THEIR IMPERFECTIONS..AND ACCORDING TO THE SOCIAL COMPARISON THEORY, WE GET OUR SELF WORTH FROM COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHERS AND IF WE ARE BETTER THAN THEM.

Answer 7

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

What is more ugly than ugliness that is within ???? I just hope that all those *UGLY PEOPLE* don't feel uncomfortable around YOU!!!!

well said Schlonky !!! :)

I'll just add .. That i agree ... OF COURSE you can bloody well help it.. TRAIN yourself ... no buggar it DON'T train yourself .. just get over THE LOOKS THING ...

look deeper within.....

Answer 8

I have a friend that is like that. He will point out the tinyest physical flaw in someone that no one but him will ever notice or care about. It's like his superpower.

Just so you know, you don't really get to pick the people that come to you for designs. Some of them may be extremely unattractive but you'll still have to do the job they're paying you for.

Answer 9

Well, sometimes when you pre judge the real problem is you and not the ugly person. You can not see in the person's heart and that what it count, not looks. Lucifer was the Angel of light and he is the devil, so don't judge by the cover, please.

Answer 10

This is a toughy.

I think I'm understanding you -- you're making people nervous out of a fear of making them, well, nervous; thus, you've gotten yourself tangled in a sort of self-perpetuating feedback loop.

One thing you might do is to reflect on the importance of looks -- as you seem to be exagerating the importance of looks.

A person is a whole person. No one is completely defined by some physical attribute or flaw. Try to really understand this.

When talking to someone, try to focus your attention on what they're saying, and not on where you're looking.

And try to stop obsessing on these things -- on their looks, and where you're looking.

Yes, when talking to someone who's eyes and mind are on everything EXCEPT the conversation at hand, it gives others the jitters.

If your eye strays to one of these "flaws" don't freak, just refocus on their eyes, and on what's being said.

Answer 11

It's natural somewhat to feel that way.

The primitive parts of our brain trigger a repulsion response when we see certain physical attributes on a person.  Zits, crooked teeth, lazy eyes, etc are read by our brains as unhealthy and therefore undesirable for breeding, whereas we are attracted to straight teeth, symmetric features, and good skin because our brain reads them as healthy and desirable.

Answer 12

I'm not surprised they get nervous too, I would if someone was looking at every bit of my facial anatomy with a slight disgust.

People's faces aren't perfect, get over it.