Nervous as h**l, please tell me I'm normal!?

Question

My first kid will arrive in 2 weeks (adoption) and I'm just plain nervous.

We've done everything possible to prepare, and are smart and caring people. But all of the sudden this crazy anxiety is hitting me. I'm just afraid I'll make a mistake and do something wrong. I also lack a support system as my husband is my only family and my closest friends live far away (we've moved recently). So that may add to my nerves.

I'm just looking for any reassurance that this is a normal feeling and the jitters will go away when the time comes.

thank you :)

Answer 1

yes ur

Answer 2

Being nervous is a good sign. That means your going to be a good Mom. I have 3 kids and I still get nervous about making mistakes. The way I see it is this, if we can lesson the reasons they will need therapy then we are doing a good job! There is nothing you can do to prepare properly for parenthood. I often talk to other parents and say, "no one tells you that part".

Whether you adopt or give birth you are supposed to be anxious and nervous. You actually have more to worry about because with adoption it isn't a done deal for a few days after the birth.  My oldest is 10, the jitters calm down but they never go away! :o) Your normal honey!

Answer 3

Its totally normal for anyone who wants to be a good parent. You know you don't have all the answers and its a baby you are dealing with. Take heart in knowing that none of us has all the answers.  

Whether its our 1st or 10th kid on the way, we still feel anxious about how we are going to fit this little newcomer's life into ours and meet his or her needs. All of us make mistakes.

Our kids learn from us how to handle mistakes, that its ok to apologize when you are wrong, etc. If we were perfect, they wouldn't have a clue as to how to survive when they got out into the world.

I made so many mistakes as a parent that I wish I could go back and undo. My oldest is a mother herself now. She knows I'm human but she also knows she was always loved and wanted. She is a great mom to her kids, and a daughter any mother would be proud to have in spite of my mistakes.

I'm sure your child will be fine as long as you have tons of love and tons of hugs to hand out constantly along with the discipline a child needs.

I think you will be a great Mom. The fact that you aren't afraid to ask if you are normal because you are afraid of making mistakes tells me you aren't taking the job of being a parent lightly.

Answer 4

It's normal, just a little bit anxious of the arrival of a new kid.

Answer 5

it's normal trust me =)

you've never had kids before i'm assuming? that's the first thing that's giving you jitters, not only that.. but you're adopting! anxiety is normal. you'll warm up to things and everything will be fine =)

Answer 6

All new mothers go through this, it's perfectly normal. Don't worry about making "mistakes"- every mother makes mistakes, no one is perfect. Check out this website for some stories to make you feel better:

http://www.truemomconfessions.com/

You don't have to be perfect to raise a great kid!

Good luck!

Answer 7

I would make a smart *** joke about this, but all things considered, you have your hands full without idiots like me making it worse.

Nerves are normal.  Things will be great.  Congratulations.

Answer 8

I dont know what it feels like to adopt.  However im 38&5 weeks pregnant.  So Im basically in the same boat as you.  I have had mixed feelings as if I will be the good mom that I want to be.  This is said to be completely normal.  Its just your mom instincts kicking in.  Im sure you will be a great mother.  This is a blessing to you.  Just thank god for giving you the courage, grace and opportunity to be the mother you want to be.  Theres not a day that goes by, I always thank God for giving me the this baby.  I hope this helps your nerves and feelings.  If you ever need to talk, [e-mail].

Answer 9

It's a totally normal feeling. It's the same even when you give birth to the kids yourself - if you've never been a parent before, you think, "What do I do now?"  That's what we thought when we left the hospital. We thought, "Oh my god! We are totally responsible for this little person - can we possibly be up to the task?"

While there's no way to be totally prepared, at least try to find consolation in knowing that being worried is the first sign of being a good parent.  Ironically, if you weren't concerned, then there would be something to worry about.

You'll do fine - parenthood will bring you both your most absolute highs in life, as well as your most exasperating moments.  You'll never be bored, but you might be very tired sometimes.  

Enjoy each moment along the way.  These jitters you're feeling are just the first of many feelings that childless people will never get to experience.  Embrace them and understand that this is the first of many more exhilarating experiences to come. Take them for what they are - feelings that pass and are replaced with new wonders and worries.

Congratulations - you're more than normal, and you'll do fine.

Answer 10

It is always normal to be nervous before a child comes in any way. One thing you can buy is a parenting help book that does give you guidence in alot of areas. The one author that I tell my friends about is Ann Douglas. She is canadian and has not only doctors' words in there, but other parents' words also. I've just had my third child, and I can get nervous at times too! Its just a natural thing for being a parent!

Answer 11

its ok, nerves are normal, and look at my about me, my life is full of mistakes, and im sure you cant get any worse then me!!

Answer 12

Maybe try to find a mommies group, so you can build a community with some other new parents.  When you have kids, you end up hanging out with other kids' parents anyway. You can give each other breaks and advice.

Once the baby comes, you will lose your jitters and fall in love so fast, it'll turn your world upside down. Best of luck!

Answer 13

i know the feeling we are about 6 weeks from getting the baby boy we are adopting and I'll be fine one minute and crazy the next my DCS worker said its totally normal that we are becoming new moms without the hard work. She also said it will go away once we have the baby home for a few days

Answer 14

It's completely normal to be nervous and it's great that you're reaching out!  Keep in mind that people flock to babies!  Once your baby comes, try looking into mommy and me classes, baby care workshops or just go to parks.  You're bound to meet people going through the same thing and overtime, I bet they can become a great support network.

It's also ok if it's not love at first sight when you adopt your baby.  Practice good bonding with the baby and overtime, your instincts will jump in and you will all be just fine.

Enjoy it! And congrats!!!

Answer 15

Well let me assure you that you will most definitely s***w up, but you won't damage your baby for life.  I would be more worried about you if you weren't nervous.  My best advice is sleep when baby sleeps--housework might have to wait.  You'll get in a groove before you know it.  Good luck!

Answer 16

honey dont worry everything will be finee..... its quite normal to have anxiety...ull get thru it:)