New Teacher Needs Advice............?

Question

This will be my second year teaching Kindergarten and I have a question. A few times last year, I had parents approaching other students in my class and discussing issues between their child and the other kid. For example, I had a parent who confronted one student because they apparently hit their child. I was not made aware of the incident and I'm thinking it happened in the lunchroom (when I was on my lunch break)

Anyway, how can I defuse situations like this and what's the best way to approach a parent who has decided to reprimand another student in my classroom. What's the best thing to say with under minding them. We all know how heated some parents get, but I can't have parents yelling or talking to other students like that.

Any advice.

Answer 1

you are the teacher, so you have the right to go up to them and ask the parent what it is that he or she wants with that child. just ask them what is going on and help them to solve the problem. and if it is a hitting problem, well kids will be kids, they are only in kindergarten.

Answer 2

I would definitely publish your guidelines for students and parents and ask that both the child and the parents sign it. Make it clear that this will be a new experience for the child as it will be their first real social occasion and that it is inevetible that conflicts may arise between students.

Point out that it is important that parents notify you, the teacher, so that you can take corrective actions and to prevent any further conflicts. Also, mention that the school has a zero tolerance violence policy.

Finally, don't be hesitant to flatly state in the policy that at no time should a parent confront a student that is not their child. In the event that you observe a parent violating that policy, escort the child away from the scene, politely ask the offending parent if you might have a word with them. Take them to a corner of the classroom or in the hallway and reiterate the policy to them and then immediately ask them what the problem is and how can you help.

In the worse case, if the parent at anytime starts to get nastly or violent, you have the right to ask them to leave the school and if they refuse the right to call school security or the local police.    

Answer 3

Ooh. I just bought a book called, How to Handle Difficult Parents by Tingley. I WISH I had this book my first few years of teaching. Check it out because it can help with this parent and others that you will eventually encounter.

So, I don't know if this will help but prior to the year starting, I have all parent volunteers - that is everyone that comes into contact through volunteering into my classroom go through a volunteer orientation. We talk alot about confidentiality (can't tell another parent about the horrendous behavior they see in class or gossip about how so and so didnt' do their homework). We also talk about positive interaction and discipline.  

You have to understand that parents are super protective and will react if seeing that. I know I probably would but I would pull that parent aside and talk about the incident. Let them explain. Then say, gosh I wish you would have gotten me because I could have dealt with it.  I would hate to get you into trouble. Then reference a fake scenario say..."I had a parent get really upset at another parent who did this and brought it all the way to the principal... I would hate for that to happen to you..." It's all in your tone too. You may have to practice not to sound condescending.

Answer 4

Yeppers, parents are special people. Reprimanding another student in your class is grossly unacceptable. If this was done in front of you, I hope you addressed it directly with the parents. It would be far better if parents learned to demonstrate good non-intimidating problem solving skills for their children.

I would start this year with a nice newsletter and include a small piece that if parents have social issues that need to be addressed, they need to address them with you directly because all of the children involved need to know what to do. (For instance, in this case the victim needed to tell a responsible adult during lunch or you after lunch!)

I would then reiterate that same thing in a nice way during your back to school night because you place so much value on the development of social skills.

I would talk to some of your colleagues on this issue as well. You are always going to have parents like this and believe me, I understand their anger (I'm a mom too), but they need to learn that they can't be there with their child every minute and their child needs to learn what to do to help him/herself.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

well I am a second grade teacher and my kids hit and play all the time I try and stop this by bringing them out into the hallway and talking to them I do understand that you teach kindergarten if you notice in the name kindergarten it has the word kinder. Try your best by trying to talk to them if that does not work then set up a naughty chair and they can sit in that for 5 minutes and rethink everything. I f this does not work then please feel free to e-mail me @ [e-mail]

Good Luck,

                 Haley Camp