New Year Cricket Predictions: the year 2011 foretold Part 2
Continued...
August
Ricky Ponting is forced to retire by Cricket Australia. He states that he can still make a return. He runs nude on a pitch in Adelaide as he is forced to get off by the Australian police.
Sharad Pawar marries Ijaz Butt. It was a lavish affair in a seven star hotel. The two have professed love for each other. http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Ijaz-Butt-c64128 has claimed that he has loved Pawar ever since he was a school boy.
Pawar has claimed that he has loved Ijaz Butt ever since he saw Butt get hit on the nose with a cricket ball. “That moment was divine magic.”
Lalit Modi starts cricket league in the jungle of Moholoholo. It soon picks up pace. Shahrukh http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Khan-c71319 buys a franchise. Shane Warne is signed up by the franchise of the tribal warriors.
September
Sachin Tendulkar scores a century under water. The first man to score a century with the fish. Rahul Dravid says, “Tendulkar is the next Harbajhan.”
http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Bangladesh-c747. The Bangladesh cricket team gets eaten up. Hilditch says it was an accident. Mitchell Johnson exclaims, “meow.”
Sreesanth gets slapped by Harbajhan. http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Rahul-c83321 Dravid says, “Sreesanth is the next...” Rahul Dravid gets slapped by Harbajhan.
Brian Lara makes a return at age 42, scores a triple century in an ODI, becomes the first man to do so.
October
Stuart Broad ends in a cat fight with Catherine http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Stewart-c91370 of the women Cricket team. Stuart Broad loses an arm wrestling match to settle the beef. Catherine Stewart wins.
James Anderson gets sued by his wife. Wife says, nude pictures of her husband in g*y magazines is corrupting her children. Wants child custody.
Sachin Tendulkar scores century number, 145359.455 against http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Zambia-c3043.
Harbajhan Singh starts dating Katrina Kaif. The end of the world is near. Soon everyone will die.
November
Ian Botham stars in Gladiator Part 2. Plays the role of Maximus Aurelius. Movie turns out to be the biggest flop in the history of flops.
Amir Sohail calls a spectator s**y back. Spectator sues Amir Sohail. The lawyer of the spectator says that his client had just displaced her backbone disc and hence did not have a s**y back.
Inzamam ul Haq picked up as a commentator for a sports channel. “The boys is all well, well played, s**y play, pitch is all boys is well.”
Herschelle http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Gibbs-c60021 writes another book, an autobiography, “A cricketer’s guide to woo women and a hundred other tips.” Sells 1 million copies on the first day.
December
http://www.senore.com/Cricket/India-c750 lose a tri-nation series under MS Dhoni.
Sreesanth to star in a Hollywood flick as the replacement for Tom Cruise. Rumours are rife that the Hollywood flick is called Mission Impossible.
Shane Warne and Elizabeth Hurley are back together after they split up in June. They will be going on their honeymoon on the Sydney Harbour.
http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Sen-c89187. Sushmita shows him the finger – with an wedding a ring.
Pakistan Cricket Board dissolved, the Gaddafi stadium is made into an amusement park. Ijaz Butt and http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Shahid-Afridi-c2482 has his own show with the lions.
Giles http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Pakistan-c755 cricketers. Javed Miandad shows him the finger, says the amusement park is more important to him then selling his players to a sod.
(The writer is a sports fanatic who transforms into Mitchell Johnson's ex-girlfriend at night. Something like WG Grace with a nose ring)
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