New Year’s resolution for Australian cricket
The year 2011 is finally here. A new decade of the 21st century has begun and everyone is busy sleeping. While others are trying to get over their hangover, some are scribbling away their New Year’s resolution and already having their doubts about
them.
Individuals all over the world will be busy assessing their efforts, reminiscing the past year and thinking what they have accomplished or perhaps failed to accomplish. The internet is buzzing with ways to make attainable goals for the New Year. There are
polls and studies declaring that people fail to keep them within the first week. Out of work professors and psychologists have been offering their tips and suggestions on how to keep them. The cricketers are also normal people who have their resolutions. Of
course how resolute they will be in keeping them, only a year-end analysis will tell. But that’s a long shot. So the good news is that the resolutions have been leaked by none other than the Person of the year 2010, at least in my head, Mr. Julian Assange
of WikiLeaks phenomena.
The Australian nation
They have suffered enough. They have been suffering for the past three months. Strauss and company, made their summer h**l and Santa ruined their Christmas. Even the last few days were ruined by the Barmy Army. The collective New Year’s resolution for the
ruthless Aussie nation is to never trust the Australian Test side, never ever again. They will not, under any circumstances, raise their hopes even when the entire population who play cricket are thrown in the Ashes squad.
Australian cricket team
The Australian cricket team will be learning from the Bangladesh national cricket team. Even they had a better year than Australia. But they will be checking off their first resolution of the list that they will win the fifth and final Ashes Test match against
England at Sydney. Even though they will be losing the urn but they will be happy of the fact that they fought back and squared the series. They will not complain about the fact that England retained the urn for the first time in 24 years in the land down
under, even though their hearts will be bleeding.
They will not go overboard with celebration, only perform the ‘lawnmower dance’ in response to the England’s team ‘sprinkler dance’. Mr. Hulk, Peter Siddle will be choreographing the routine and they will only be drinking Beer.
Michael Clarke
He attained his last year’s resolution finally and he will be holding on to the resolution this year as well. He will prove to everyone, why he actually does not deserve to be the captain of the Aussies. He will be sticking up with his bad run of form from
last year, since it worked for him. The 29-year-old batsman will celebrate his 30th
birthday in style, as he will become the most embarrassing record holder in Test innings. His two half-centuries in the last fifteen Test innings being, well his last.
Cricket Australia and the selection panel
Andrew Hilditch and his selection panel will be continuing with their search for a spinner. Their resolution is to finish their search for a spinner before the World Cup. Their top priority will be to look in the Sydney Cricket Ground and there will be secret
undercover agents amongst the crowd, who will be receiving applications from the Aussie camp and even the Barmy Army (on discretion). No experience will be required.
Ricky Ponting
The captain’s resolution will be to draft a new CV for himself. He will also seek to join the Channel 9 commentary box and will argue with the umpire from behind the glass.
Shane Warne
He is already breaking it. On New Year’s Eve he made a resolution to turn a new leaf. However, he initiated a conversation with Elizabeth Hurley on Twitter once again and soon they were flirting. He has been drinking a lot and will probably forget what happened
the night before.
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