New changes. I would like to thank everyone for their help. Please help me some more. Tell me what you think?

Question

Again I am regressing

In a state of agression

Windy and toughtless

A life very so careless

Elemental gears

Free in their veers

Curve spaces into forces

The answers align into sources

Free of chess

A brief push press

The independence road

And out of the load

Out at the Einstein

In stearing out in the question

Of the redresses of his mouse and his mire

Which of a hire is this wire

Tired verses

Thoughtless touches

Throathy Groans

A life so graceless

Jittery lights

Smooth everythings

A verticle twillight

Infused tight

A green April

Thrill

She lingers in my clutches

Bare crotches

Caress

In brief presses

The Independence road

Crushes out our load

Then in stearing out in the question

She tears my eyes out

Her tears shivers

Slithering down our spines

Answer 1

This isn't a discussion forum.

P.s: I think it sucks.

Answer 2

did someone say terrorsim rhymes :0 thats racist im so reporting

great job on the poem btw dude i love it and i mean <3

Answer 3

I think the only thing you need to work on is punctuation. And not in a formal sense.

Where you want the reader to take in several breathes to feel the moment - add more commas, spaces, periods, breaks.

Underline, bold, capitalize, italicize, words that you want to make emphasis on (the first word of every line doesn't have to be capitalized).

That's the beauty of poetry - when you can create art with your words and diction - as well as create art through the way in which the reader experiences it.

Answer 4

no more abab rhyme schemes for the love of god.

Answer 5

Sounds great to me--it would take me about 20 years to write something like that.  lol  Congratulations!!!!!