New coworker trying to get me to answer to her?

Question

At first she was extremely friendly, which made me let my guard down with her. Then she began asking me things that had nothing to do with her. Like, I'd be going on my break as usual and she'd say "where are YOU going?" and other things like "um why isn't THAT fixed?" (again, something that has nothing to do with her own job).

My gut reaction answer to these kinds of questions is "hey why don't you go F*CK yourself?" but then she could use that to turn herself into the victim and me into the bad guy.

So how do you answer someone who's testing you to see how far they can manipulate you, and let that person know clearly that they're messing with the wrong person, without turning yourself into the bad guy and that person into the victim who everyone feels sorry for?

Answer 1

You don't answer her. Just ignore her comments.

Answer 2

I always answer in a joking manner, but make a point to not give any information. If she asks, "Where are you going?" respond with, "Away" or "This way." When she asks "Why isn't that fixed?" smile and say, "I dunno. Ask the repair man." You can make a joke and still be clear that you are not obligated to answer questions.

Answer 3

Well you could just ask "why do you care"? But that could come across as being mean too. Best to just not answer their question when they ask those things. I mean still be polite to them but you don't owe then any explanation.

Answer 4

Ignore, ignore, ignore.  No eye contact.  Play dumb if she calls you on it.  "What are you talking about?"  Walk away.

Answer 5

Well, you can give her short, quick answers.

For instance- when you're on your break and she asks- "Where are YOU going?" You can answer-'I'm going on my break.' or something like "Nowhere in particular, why do YOU ask?"

As for the question- "Why isn't THAT fixed?" you could say "I don't know, ask ____"  or "Beats me, not my department."

If it gets annoying, tell her.  Be nice about it, you could say something like "Sue, I just don't know. Maybe you should ask ---"

Tell your supervisor if it begins to get out of control and annoying for you.

Answer 6

I would just shrug my shoulders and keep walking, not turning around to look at her. If you think that's too mean, just shurg at her and say "Break." and move on. Don't stop to talk to her.

Answer 7

man, i am like you. but unfortunately, i don't realize what is happening until it is too late. you are wise for recognizing what is happening....

i wish i could answer that question, sometimes i want to tell people to go f@#k themselves too!!

:-P

I can help you with one though - when she asks you where you are going and what you are doing constantly - just tell her you are going "out". no need to be specific, it's not of her business. hopefully when you answer vaguely/non-specifically enough, she will get the picture.

Answer 8

Gently ask her if it is within her job description to micromanage you?  Additionally, point out the more time she devotes to monitoring your work; the less time she has to devote to her own obligations.

Although it is a pain in the tokus; she may be doing that just to test your limits, she may be insecure, she may actually be directed by supervisors in your organization to monitor your progress.

Ask her "Wow, you must be finished with all YOUR tasks.  I appreciate your concern, but I have everything under control"

Smile and walk away...

Answer 9

Sounds like she already has you pegged as someone she can push around. You need to do something to make it clear she can't treat you like that as soon as possible and don't worry about who the bad guy is.