New ideas for dealing with a very stubborn toddler?

Question

I need new creative ideas for dealing with my 3YR old son, normal punishments aren't catching on and he still does what he wishes even though I follow through with every threat I make.

Whats not working:

*Time-Out

* Taking toys away and other things that are important to him

* Light pops on the bum w/ time out

* Conversation about whats right and wrong.

Please refrain from answering if you say:

* Beat Him

* Welcome to the world of toddlers

I really need some original creative ideas from other parents who's methods have worked for them.

Thank you!

Answer 1

My little boy always tries to test my patients and mine only...  But when he is misbehaving I tend to ignore him, within time he gets bored and stops...  Normally he is only misbehaving for attention and once he realised that doesn't work, he tries a different approach...

Or I ask him what he is doing and tell him I am not talking to him until he apologises, he soon says sorry and then gets upset as he realises he has upset me...(Normally the Big boys don't act like that, only babies works also as at 3 - they hate the thought of being a baby still and want to be Big boys!!!)

Otherwise try rewarding him when he is being good with a sticker or a small treat (wouldn't recommend a treat as they seem to get more expensive...lol..) but with something he likes then he will realise that being good, gives treat and might refrain from being naughty, but either way try not to get angry or shout (easier said than done) but it doesnt make you feel any better and puts them in a worse mood...

Hope this helps and sorry for going onnnnnnnn.....x

Answer 2

This has worked for me on both my kids. Get a switch, a thin branch from a tree  take all the leafs off and anything that can poke him and then spank him on the back of his leg(s). Then sit him down and speak to him. It stings but it doesn't leave a mark. There will be a red line but not long.

Answer 3

Have you tried rewarding the good instead of focussing too much on the bad? Obviously you would still discipline him, but try to make it so that the discipline isn't necessary all the time. I would try a sticker chart, explain what behavoiur is and isn't expected of him. If he goes a whole day without time out (or maybe 2 to start and work it down) he gets a sticker. After a week if he has a sticker every day he gets a small treat, like a meal out, or a new (cheap) toy.  

Answer 4

This is the problem, "a light pop on the bum." Whats the point in spanking him if its not going to hurt? You obviously need to spank harder. He will not fear you, he will fear getting a sore bum. And spanking is not abuse, if its done properly (only with hands, only on the bum, and only occasionally) it will not leave any marks. If your only giving a light tap, whats there to fear? He's not going to immediately stop doing whatever hes doing wrong if it doesnt hurt. I'm not talking about agony, just a bit sore for a few minutes. Me and my sister were spanked properly when we were little, and we both turned out like fine, happy kids who do well in school! I thank my parents for it, otherwise I would of turned out like a little brat. Hope this helps!  

Answer 5

Hi, I know from experience with my nephew time out can work if you get down to their level hold their head so he looks straight into your eyes and tell him what he did is a no no and he can't do it no more or he gets time out. If he does it place him in time out, but time out has to be a secluded area where toys or tv are not available. Also its good to have a rug in the corner that symbolizes time out. I had to put my nephew in time out so many times over a 2 week period for him to realizes he doesn't want to be there.

Answer 6

Ahh now there's a walk down memory lane. :) I have 3 children and your son sounds like my middle child. STUBBORN. Hate to say it but her personality held strong and she is now 15. It's hard but we kept it directed in a postive manner...sometimes like trying to ride a wild horse. lol As a teacher who deals with children with behavior issues I used to think,"God I should be better at this." We tried everything you did and I agree beating is never an option. If you are sure there is nothing neurologically wrong with your child that he can't help, you need to start being creative. Is your child exceptionally smart? My daughter has a very high IQ, which can make them quirky. We found that motivating her for things she wanted rather than punishing her worked much better. Behavior charts, stickers, etc. We always tried to make the reward more family oriented. (movie, McDonalds, going to the park, trip out for ice cream, etc.) I tried to stay away from giving her "stuff" (toys, etc) Giving her choices sometimes helped but there were times she didn't like either one. Oh well...then parenting controls come into effect. Don't give more than 2 choices or it becomes a game for them. If she didn't make the choice in a certain amount of time, we made the choice for her. (and don't let him make the choice AFTER you made it...he will pick the other one  just for control..too late he missed his chance) Consistent consequences were a must and you have to follow through EVERY time no matter how exhausting and time consuming. Sounds like you are. We needed to keep her busy and her mind active or she would find something to do that would get her in trouble. (dance, sports, gymnastics, karate, art projects, music, parent attention...number one) We did find her attention span was short. She got bored and wanted to try new things all the time. (continues..even today) We insisted if she started something that she follow through for the season whether she liked it or not to teach her responsibility. What is he doing that is so bad? Is he being inquisitive or just defiant? Negative behavior has rewards or they wouldn't keep doing it. (attention, revenge, power, stimulation) If you can figure out what he's getting out of it you can redirect it by changing your reactions and modeling more positive ways for him to get what he needs. If it's any consolation three was the awful year. When she turned four it did get better. Good luck!!  

Answer 7

My daughter was like this, very, very stubborn,  ---  still is and she now has children of her own!

Very frustrating it can be too.  My husband always used to say persuasion works better than chastisement. It means being really patient though, but it does work.

I used to feel sometimes it was a real battle, seeing who could last out the longest!!!!

Sticker charts are OK  as an incentive when things are going well, but make no impression with a 3 year old who has their heels dug in.  

Try the friendly persuasion tactic, also be ready and one step ahead at all times, --- anticipation --- is another good technique to employ.  It helps to avoid the TANTRUM.

Answer 8

I just recently started putting my son in his room when he doesn't listen I didn't think it would work but man does he hate it..

Answer 9

I agree with KatKat. Focus on the positive. And don't tell him constantly that he is bad (in case you're doing that). Labels tend to stick, so if he begins to believe that he is bad, he will behave accordingly.

Answer 10

the sticker chart really works i tried it with my son on potty traing and it is magical!!