New job might ruin our relationship

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we've just had a baby 3 months ago. He got a new job that requires him to be away a lot working at parties, functions, events etc. He'll mostly be working at night, which means when I'm at home he's at work, when I'm at work he's at home. This job also means that he'll be surrounded by woman all the time. I know he loves me, but I just cant get over this job and what it means for us as a family. How do we maintain a great relationship when we dont even see each other? And I know he loves me and I trust that we wont cheat, but given the oppoturnity, anyone can cheat. Any advice?

Answer 1

I don't know what your boyfriend does for a living and the reason why he got this type of job.

I think you both need to make a point to spend quality time with each other when you both have days off.

I would make it a priority to keep your relationship alive.

I think if you have a solid relationship and he truly loves you and your baby, it should be fine.

Hopefully, this job won't last very long and he'll want to get a day job to spend time with you both.

Answer 2

sit him down and tell him your concerns.  tell him how important monogamy is to you.  find out in detail his thoughts and moral values.  a man who is morally strong will not stray when offered the opportunity, but a man who is morally weak will stray with or without the opportunity.  

if he shares your same moral values and emphasis on monogamy, then you probably have nothing to worry about.  he's been with you for 6 years, if he has not cheated in those 6 years, he probably will not cheat because of this job.

sometimes spending time apart can be beneficial to a relationship, if you see each other less frequently you value your time together much more, and less chance to get on each other's nerves.

and given the fact that you will soon be a new mom, you will likely want to cut back your hours at work to take care of the baby.  if this is a great job opportunity, it could be to your benefit (you and the child) for him to earn a decent income allowing you to either quit work or cut back your hours.  by him working different hours than you, the baby will always have a parent around and not have to be to the babysitter or daycare.

as new parents, this particular schedule might work very very well to your benefit.  try to see the positive side of this situation and think of how it will benefit the child.

if you cannot trust him, you probably shouldn't be with him anyways.

and yes, you can still have a great relationship, you just need to make your time together, as limited as it might be, a priority.  

and keep in mind that any job (yours or his) is not necessarily a permanent thing.  if he does well enough that you can cut your hours, then you will have lots of time off to spend together, or you might find a different job that has hours more compatible with his schedule.