New mix of words to form a poem, what do ya think?

Question

more or less,

pain of flesh.

life's a living,

even when dying.

nothing more to be said,

he's already dead.

he died with a smile.

had fun... for a while.

Answer 1

How about on the fourth line fix it to even after dying

Answer 2

very depressingly amazing... i like it, though it made me sad... very good...claps to you