New poem, Wat do u think?

Question

When Time Stops

By: Rockstar123

As I walk the floor crunches beneath me

something moves in the distance

as I go closer my heart beats like a loud, lonely drum

What I see is impossible but I want to believe

It is bright, blinding but kind and gentle

its vibrant eyes stare

I am standing, frozen unable to move

It looks at me smiling maybe

then its gone

It was a beautiful creature, innocent and wonderous

As I look around everything is still, like time itself has stopped

I whisper, " Peace, for once in this harsh, harsh world I see true and honest peace"

then I walk off my mind clear and my heart open

(The End)

Answer 1

-Blinks a few times-

Honestly, I think this is quite good. The feeling it gives you is spiritual, or holy.

"It is bright, blinding but kind and gentle."

I like that line.

The only thing I could suggest is to use a few less describing words. But otherwise, wonderful!

Answer 2

I like this poem. It makes me want to stop and take in this beautiful event. Thank you.