Question:

New poem, just written, what do you all think? Criticism welcome.

by  |  earlier

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I'm waiting on the borderline

sittin' between here and Mexico

those border cops are on the go

I watch them stir and squirm

in this uncomfortable heat wave

summer shifts don't seem like much fun.

I shoulder my rucksack and continue on

past the dust and sombreros

tall lean dark mexicans saunter on up

"ya want drinks booze women?

I know I know."

I walk past the w***e house and opium dens

I'm already a regular

needless to say I'm welcomed back with

open arms,

dancing wildly as I carouse with mad catholic

women to live jazz beats

who twist and writhe and shout out

"twist that cat round you!

Yeah yeah YEAH!

Move move MOVE!"

Sweating and pulsing along this great peyote

railroad nation wild-eyed and

high in the alcoves,

my mind spazzing madly up amongst the

spindly rafters in liberation.

I sleep the night through the day and leave Mexico

sleep-deprived worn torn and blown

all the while taking the time to kneel in front

of the U.S. border and chant Zen to the green

troops sweltering in their tired opression,

I pass on, Mr. Borderline American stops

me,

"Are you an American?"

I shout an enthusiastic "Si!"

"Are you carrying anything that would include

drinks drugs or any diseases?"

"No, no, and none that I can think of Mister!"

Large cop eyes me and states his paranoia,

"Ya carryin' any Mexicanos in that bag of

yours?"

"Sure thing!" I state. "God loves the robin hoods

of the great Mexicali Midwest!"

Young soldiers give me looks of

confusion,

this lunatic is too far gone

poor Buddhist madman.

I pass into America in the comfort of my

shadow,

and look along the great American railway

for a cool chill steel iron bullet to make

its stop in the desert,

there she comes by nightfall,

streaking cold and shining in the moon's

barren pregnant gaze,

bopping and grooving to the beats

of her great traintrack wheels.

I grab my ride and unload my house

eat my modest meal

pork and a can of macaroni

curl up amongst the crates and sleep my

way to the coast

and golden bum California sunsets...

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2 ANSWERS


  1. I love it!

    Dude,you should make a book of all the poems you wrote and show it to the world!


  2. i'm old school, poems used to attempt to rhyme, back in the day. nice story-line though, i kinda like it. make great song lyrics.

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