New poem: could you please give your opinion of this poem ?

Question

“Palladio”

Faster and faster..

The heart pumps emotion

The Orchestra in flow..

With sounds of devotion

A ripple effect

The invisible ride

Moves through ones sensors

There is Nowhere to hide

Encapsulating moments…

Of sheer divine

It penetrates the soul

Takes over the mind

Unstoppable reactions

Caressed and entwined

No better way of escape

All at rest to unwind

The curtain is hauled

The musicians make sound

The performance begins

My feet leave the ground

At last ,lost in tranquillity

What was known begins to fade

prolific imagery blended together

My heart cannot evade

(Copyright © Geoffrey Brett - 04/09/2008)

Answer 1

I love it!!! really beautiful and nice choice of words:)

Answer 2

Its good. i like the flow of it.

Answer 3

great poem

Answer 4

its q good but

the rhyme scheme is inconsistant...(St. 3 & 5 - last lines)  and the last stanzas 3rd line ... it doesnt look like it should be different cause theres nothing to hint at that in the poem (eg irregular heartbeat or something)... but as it is its not bad

Answer 5

This isn't  a bad attempt at capturing the emotive power of music (I'm guessing Karl Jenkins's "Palladio"), but there are several jarring moments that you may want to revise:

"ones sensors" - don't you mean "one's senses"?

"sheer divine" is bad English

"All at rest to unwind" - what does this mean?

The rhyme on the last line seems forced - maybe switch lines 2 and 4 in last stanza?

Answer 6

O______O

wow, that was amazing!

♥

Answer 7

i can't even explain!

umm

it was awesome!

lol

do me a favor and keep writing i'll be on the look out

Answer 8

Like other works of yours that I have read and critiqued, I must say that this is a great poem and one that I will also take to class tomorrow night and share with my modern poetry class.

Please keep the words flowing and continue to share with us your work here in this forum.

Thank you PEACE

A lover of poetry

Answer 9

i think it's great.