New poem- mite be a little rough- honest opinion please?

Question

"Always on my mind"

I miss you everyday

Its like you don’t hear the words I say

Your blind, my signs you don’t see

Staring at your lips, watching you and those girls kiss

Fake a smile, give a hug, learn to laugh, play it off

Summers ending, won’t see you as much

Kills me to know you don’t even think of us

I want me and you again so badly

I need some help, I need your help

I'm crying out for you to just love me back

That's all it takes, can’t you do that for me?

Did we have real love or was it fantasy?

Did you think it was forever or just temporary?

Was it something I did? or something I did’t do?

You never told me,just left me to pick up the pieces

All our laughs,kisses,and hugs seep into me like leeches

I don’t regret us through all the heartbreak and pain

Your the best thing to ever happen to me, you made me sane

I just want your love, just need your love

Answer 1

wow. i know exactly what this poem is meaning, i write poetry like this too!! beautiful work!

Answer 2

I like it, because it really describes a feeling...is very detail...you sound really hurt thought..make sure he reads it...

Answer 3

the first line is kinda overused and cliche. also with a free written poem like this sometimes its better not to rhyme cause remember poems aren't poems because they rhyme, poems are poems because they express deep emotion and aren't in complete sentences. other than that though this is pretty good.

Answer 4

First, lose the title.

Secondly you have spoken for every human being that has ever experienced love, and lost love, and all the confusion and 'games' that go along with it.

Good work putting it to words, but don't get too personal about yourself.  Tell a story and work on your punctuation a little.

If you are going to ask a question, make it rhetorical.