New poem what do you think?

Question

Mind you beautiful thing

whisper more secrets to me

tell the words

you never dare

speak

Mind you wonderful beast

command my body

to do wonderful feats

Overestimate the human strength

All for me this one day

Mind you beautiful thing

control us

all like puppets on a string

sing us llyabes

write us poems

make us trust

you...

Mind you wonderful thing

make our phobias

a reality

Turn agianst

incite a riot

bring us panic

forgive me mind

for being in control

Answer 1

I enjoyed it. Maybe some could complain that it is not complicated enough. But that's life.

Answer 2

Eloquent, yet simple, all around a beautifully written poem! Keep up the good work!

Answer 3

cliche

Answer 4

Ok this poem is absolutely amazing!!!! Keep writing girl its awesome!!!

Answer 5

Pretty good, but your lack of punctuation makes a few parts confusing to understand. For instance, I assume you mean "Mind, you beautiful thing" not "Mind you, beautiful thing"

Answer 6

Not bad.