New poem???please help?

Question

i wrote another poem and i would like your help with corrections and stuff like that oh and by the way for some reason word pad has no spell check so if you could point out the misspellings that would be great thanks

:)

oh and if there any lines that don't fit or anything please tell me

be as harsh as you need to

your smile fades

as the tears drop

your color fades

as the tears drop

your hand touches mine

as the tears drop

you say "baby whats wrong"

as the tears drop

you shed a tear

as the tears drop

your lips tremble

as the tears drop

you seem worried

as the tears drop

last tear drops

you listen to me carefully

i can't get it out

your sitting there waiting

your so confused

and sad

and i did this

all me

i had told you to take a seat

that we needed to talk

then the tears drop

finally it comes out

what you been dreding

"i think im in love with you"

your smile apears

your color comes back

your hand holds mine

"im in love with you to"

the tears of joy drop

Answer 1

Why no didn't leave a reply to this post?

I like this....lol at first you were gonna say "i wanna break up with you"

but awww

Answer 2

awww that was so cute!! i loved it! the only thing is that "as the tears drop" doesn't sound very dramatic or ominous, or not as much as it could, and that seems to be the vibe youre going for.  What about "as the tears fall" or "as the tears stream down" or something? idk but that was so so so awesome you just put me in such a good mood thanks ;]

Answer 3

"dreading" "appears"

remember: your is possessive, you're is you are.

I think you have something here, it's sweet and simple, nothing overwrought. Now I have to say that as a beginner, you owe it to yourself to learn the simple differences of it's, its and your and you're and what-not grammar rules. Also, spelling is a must, spell check is created to help people who write a lot catch mistakes. You owe it to yourself to learn small bits of important information such as spelling and grammar. Now I feel like a nagging teacher >.<

Anyway, you have a great idea/concept for this poem, keep this idea so later on when you've refined your writing, you can use this again more effectively.

Keep writing.