New single moms how did you keep from losing your mind?!?!?!?

Question

my baby is almost 6 weeks old and needs to be held 247 or he cries constantly and because im doing this all on my own nothing else is getting done and my house is a mess which gives me more anxiety and i havent eaten properly or taken a shower that lasted more then a minute since he has been born! and just wondered if there were other moms like me and what you did to make yourself feel better! i know im just going to have to get used to it but its hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Try swaddling your baby. That will help make him feel more secure. Get a bouncy seat or a noah's basket (it basically a bassinet you can carry) if you don't already have one. Swaddle him when he is awake or asleep and put him in the seat and carry him with you from room to room while you get a few things done. talk to him the whole time so he knows you are there but you can let him cry a little. He will eventually know that you are near but can't pick him up and everything will be ok. Also, don't let the messy house get to you. Things won't change for a little while. Also he is so little he might have some GI issues, some bouncy chairs have vibrations that will make his tummy feel better. Hope that helps.

Answer 2

i'm not a single mum but my baby was the same to start with ... wouldn't sleep during the day unless he was being held and i'm also studying at university so i was trying to get everything done plus assignments and study. I eventually invested in a baby carrier and put him in it and walk around doing the housework and everything and he just sits there looking around and eventually falls asleep ... i think its the jiggling of walking that does it. And also ... i learnt to have a shower immediately after he had a feed, once he was fed and burped and was happy, i'd put him down in his cot or on his mat on the floor and go for a shower, if he cried i knew it was only for company that way, and by the time i get out of the shower he'd often put himself to sleep, I'm probably going to get a few thumbs down for saying that but i'm sure you baby will be happier if you've had a shower and feel a lot better yourself. And anyway ... a shower is like 10 mins anyways its not going to hurt him.

Answer 3

Lol! Its hard for everyone I think. I'm not a single mom, but I sure feel like I'm going to lose my mind sometimes. My hubby trys to help, but it seems like my baby only wants his mama. Its hard to get anything done... just hang in there. Its hard, I know! Do you have a swing? My baby loves his swing. Although, hes getting less interested in it. But, I used to be able to put him in there for a couple hours throughout the day to get some cleaning and stuff done.  

Answer 4

It's normal and it will get better.  Do you have a swing or bouncer?  Try that while you take a shower.  I know your single but is their a neighbor or best friend you can enlist? Take any help you can get.  Asking for help doesn't make you a bad mother it makes you a human being.  The eating...all I can say is learn to eat fast!!!  That's what I do.  You can let the house go right now.  It's not like the little one is crawling around yet.  Take the opportunity while they aren't to let it go a little.  Babies need some germs so your house doesn't have to be gleaning contrary to popular belief.  Take 30 minutes for yourself everyday to do something you like to do. For instance, if you don't have help, when the baby naps, that is your time to take that bubble bath, chill out on the computer or whatever else floats your boat. However, don't clean during that time!  You can put it off!  Hope that helps!

Answer 5

Don't stress yourself out too much! I'm not a single mom, but sometimes I feel like it with my partner at school during the day, and at work most nights. Consider yourself lucky, because I have twins! You have to first learn to relax, because my babies are almost a year old, and all they did was cry for the first 4-5 months, but I managed to take showers and eat and clean, and believe it or not, relax, while they slept or napped. You could possibly get help from friends or your parents, but I was never one to want to bug people, and they didn't always have time, seeing as I am only 17. Many people told me to just let them cry, because they'd learn to relaz themselves, but I couldn't bear it, but your probably a bit stronger then I was, so you could try. I know you probbly wouldn't wnat to take advice from a 17-year-old, but trust me, things will get better, and according to my mother, there will be times when you WISH they'd be wailing! Good luck, and I hope I could help! <3

Answer 6

The first few months can be really hard. I had a sick 2 y.o and a newborn baby at the same time. I was a single mother through that. My 2 y.o needed doctor appts. 5 days a week. My second daughter... she liked to scream!

You kinda have to find your fit with the new baby.

If you have a swing... try putting it in the room you want to clean. Take extra towels into the bathroom with the baby & car seat. Take a bath and bring the baby in with you. If you have company over to visit... don't be afraid to ask for help!

Get involved in a class for new mothers. Contact your local hospital to see where there might be one. Then you can make new mommy friends.

Pacifiers can be your friend and his.

If you really can't stand the crying anymore. Put the baby down for a few minutes and go breath for 5 minutes. Brush your hair or get a drink. Then go back.

Good luck

Answer 7

As soon as you get used to it, he will completely change his routine on you!  My first baby did this- no one could hold him but me- it drove me nuts.  I just had to let him cry sometimes and learn to comfort himself.  You are not showing your baby that you don't love him if you need to put him down for a little while to at least take a shower or eat.  It will get better, trust me!

Answer 8

I'm not a single mom, but I live like one.  My husband is out of town 5 days out of the week and when he's home the kids still only come to me for everything.  I have 4 kids ages 11, 9, 20 months and a 3 week old.  Believe me alot of the time I just become robotized and numb and do what I have to do.  It's not easy at all, but you will make it and you'll be fine, it's just going to be a while.  I had just gotten to where my toddler could do his own thing for a while and I could have some me time, well now I have a newborn and have to  start all over again.

Ok, I'm done venting lol.  You'll be fine, it's not forever that you'll have to do this!

Answer 9

That sounds really hard for you... you need to take time out for your self- i know it may sound selfish but it is the best thing for you and most importantly you baby! Can you ask any family or friends to come over and just keep him occupied while you take a relaxing bath or a night out on your own?  You definately need to start eating properly otherwise this will start to take a toll on YOUR health.  

Call your hospital or talk to your GP and ask them for any suggestions for someone to talk to about your bubs constant crying- although they cry alot of the time it shouldnt be ALL the time.

Good luck i hope your sort things out soon

A happy mummy means a happy baby

- also know that babies can sense when mum is anxious, stressed, upset and the rest.  This could be why he cries alot if you are anxious alot of the time

Answer 10

If you relax your baby will clam down too. Trust me I am a mother of 3 boys and 1 girl ages 7months, 2, 4, 7. My husband was killed (when a tractor ran over him on our farm) when I was 8 months pregnant with my youngest. I never thought I would make it but I am. My husband was a only child and only grandchild so his parents help me out a lot but I am mom, farmer, housekeeper, teacher. I am living proof that it will all be ok if you just relax, get a babysitter and go out for the evening.

Answer 11

Warning this is sort of rambly:

I am not a single mom but

My first son cried all the time and holding him didn't help. 2nd son liked to be held but wouldn't go to bed at night. I got a video from the library and it had tips on getting them to stop crying and getting them to sleep. (Happiest baby on the block) I ended up swaddling him and putting him in the swing with a pacifier and that worked.

If you wake him up at the same time everyday that will help because he will start to take his first nap at the same time and then you can plan a short break.

Get some cans of soup.

Take it day by day and good luck!Do you live in S. NJ I will help you!

Answer 12

I'd like to third the motion to get a swing, if you don't have one already. It probably doesn't work for every baby, but at that age mine would go to sleep instantly when I put him in the thing. I used it when I showered, when I was doing chores, and even at night when he would not go to sleep in the crib.

They are pretty expensive, but you can get them used on Craigslist for pretty cheap.