Newly weds... His parents want to stay with us...?

Question

My husband and I have only been married for a little over a month. We are still adjusting to being married, and we are NEWLY WEDS. His parents are coming tonight, and they want to stay here for a few days. Eating our food, sleeping in our bed, and using our shower. I love them so much, but I am not feeling very well... I have the flu or something. But my husband does not understand it. There are seven motels in this town. Please help, what should I do? I'm sick and I can't clean our apartment, and make them supper, basically be a good host. What should I do, and what should I tell my husband. I just don't want them to get sick or make them feel unwelcome...

Thanks!!!

Answer 1

i agree with arklatex... your super screwed!

sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do or don't feel like doing. besides there ARE leaving in a few days... you have the rest of your life to spend with him. a few days of you being uncomfortable won't kill you. and i'm sure they'll understand that your not feeling up to part. why not ask hubby to help out?

Answer 2

well first of all sending them to a motel would be a horrible thing to do.they are your family now too.you should kindly explain them that your sick and mite spent most of the time in bed or etc.im sure they wont have a problem cooking themselves a breakfast.tell your husband you cant wait to see them,and ur a little sick and you worry u may not be the best host.let them know in advance your sick and let them decide if they want to come or not

Answer 3

Welcome to married life, Michelle.  These are compromises you will have to get used to.  This is your family now too.  I can't imagine that your mother in law will expect you to wait on her hand and foot if you're ill.  I bet she will pitch in and help, maybe even take care of you and clean up your house.  It's just a few days.  This is one of many adjustments you'll have to make being in a partnership.

Answer 4

suck it up and do the best you can, your husband can help clean and cook.  try to let them know that you have been sick with the flu and try and give them fair warning about it and maybe they might decide to stay somewhere else or at least understand that you have been sick.

Answer 5

I know it sucks and you don't feel like company but I think you're out of luck here.

Give them a warning that you aren't feeling well and tell them you won't be cooking. Get some take out instead so there is no prepping and easy clean up.

They are family now and you really don't want them to feel unwelcomed.

Just a question, are they sleeping in YOUR bed? If that's the only bed in your house, then I think that is rude on their part. Then they should definitely be getting a hotel or something.

Answer 6

Your mother-in-law would love to come take care of you and your husband. Tell her what is going on and that you are sick and hate to see them possibly get it but if they still want to come it is OK. Let her do the cooking and the cleaning. She will love it. They are coming to visit you and that's all they want. Remember it is only a couple of days. Just relax and let her take care of things. If she is not a cook then call out for pizza or Chinese. They are family, you don't have to entertain family.

Answer 7

Let them come.  Be hospitable but let them know that you don't feel well.  If your husband is a good one and doesnt want his parents to see a unkept house he will help you rest if they want to get sick oh well LOL!! Good luck

Answer 8

You need to tell them that you don't feel well and might not be a great hostess, but they are welcome in your home.

I'm sure if you flat out ask them to stay in a hotel, they would be offended. They are you family now, after all.

Once you tell them you're sick, they may opt to stay in a hotel. Or, they may want to stay in your house and cook dinner for you and help tidy up, since you aren't feeling up to it.  

Answer 9

His parents would be outraged if they are planning to stay with you and you ask them to stay at a hotel.  It could change the entire way your marriage pans out as well.  Explain to them you won't be the best hostess, you are sick and they will have to make out the best they can while staying.  If they then decide to stay in a hotel on their own, great, otherwise you are asking for drama.

Answer 10

Unfortunately I think at this point there isn't really anything that you can do about this!

Your husband should have handled this whenever his parents had asked if they could come.  You two are married now, it's not just his home, it's yours too.  The two of you should have discussed whether or not you were okay with this BEFORE he told them yes, and NOT while he was on the phone with them.  He should have said "Well let me see what we have going on and I'll get back to you" then talked to you about it.

You could always try calling and making some excuse like "I'm really sick -- we'd love to have you but I think I just need my rest right now, is there any way you could get a hotel?"  Or "We really don't have the space for you to sleep here, is there any way you could get a hotel?"

They SHOULD NOT be sleeping in your bed -- that is your marriage bed!  The marriage bed is a sacred thing, and I would never allow a guest to sleep in my bed.  If ever guests sleep at our house, we don't have a guest bed and they will sleep on the couch.  I understand there is no room on the couch for a married couple, but go purchase an air mattress for them to sleep on in the living room on the floor.  DO NOT allow them to stay in your bedroom -- that is rude and not good for the sacred marriage bed!  

Explain to your husband that you'd rather his parents get a hotel room.  If he won't budge, compromise and tell him next time they HAVE to get a hotel room.  Also, tell him they are not staying in your bed, period.  You can either purchase an air mattress (about $100) or they can sleep on the floor -- that's it, period.  Also explain if he won't budge on this time that you're sick and HE needs to do ALL the entertaining of his parents.  You're going to rest in bed, he can cook, clean, and entertain.  They're family, you don't need to be a "gracious host."

Good luck!

Answer 11

be open and honest about the situation to your inlaws - if they take it badly that is their problem - if they do not want a hotel, again that is their choice -

if you start out by being stepped on by your in-laws at this stage of your marriage, you are only setting yourself up for a lifetime of the same treatment

nip it in the bud, or prepare to deal with it the rest of your marriage

Answer 12

If your husband won't offer to put them up in a hotel or reschedule this visit I would inform him that you are unable prepare for their stay and here is a list of things I need you to do since I am bed ridden.

He's a grown man and will have to just suck it up and do it.

Answer 13

Stay in bed and when they show up, whine and complain that no one takes care of you and here you are sick.  

Answer 14

Face it, you are screwed.  There is probably no way you can say that to your in-laws that won't come across like you are being inhospitable.

Take some OTC flu meds and make the best of it, and hope that your husband will at least pitch in and help out!

Answer 15

Why don't you call them yourself and explain to them that you have the flu and are concerned about their health?  

Answer 16

These people are your family now. Your flu symptoms might be related to the anxiety you are feeling over them coming. Sometimes we do things we dont want to do because they are the right thing to do. Its only a few days. Straighten up as best you can and try to have fun. If you seem down and they ask, just let them know you havent been feeling well. It will be ok.

Answer 17

this is a tough situation.  unfortunately, i would let them come, but explain to them that you have the flu and that you will do your best.  it's important that they see how sick that you are...as that will make it less likely that you are not faking it to get out of hosting them.  perhaps, once they see that you are sick, they will agree themselves to go to a hotel.  if not, than your husband should be a good host to them while they are there.  after all, you are sick, and they are his parents.  if you tell them flat out, don't come...you might end up planting the seeds of bitterness that you will have to deal with for years to come.  it isn't worth it over a couple of days.

Answer 18

i think it's more that you don't wan tthem to stay with you.  at least that's what it sounds like.  they are family and family helps family out.  at least in my family.  if you are that sick, then make them a reservation in a hotel and pay for it.  explain it to them that you are sick and worried about them catching it so you made a reservation in a hotel for them and you're paying for it.

know that this situation will arise again so you can't avoid it.