I posted this question in marriage and divorce but didnt get a lot of imput. Thanks....
Beginning in March my sister inlaw was starting to stay out all night, and not coming home until the next day, her excuse was that her friend was dying and she wanted to be there for her and help her. It started out only a few days a week, then it was over the weekends, until sometime in the beginning of April it was every night.
She kept changing her stories over the next four months of why she had to leave and could not be home with her family, She has only been home overnight maybe 5 days since the beginning of April. This has effected my niece(her first child) greatly, and is the reason that I have had her at my house so much lately, I am trying to keep her out of the loop. I am completely beside myself and there is no talking to my sister in law, she is in total denial, as far as she is concerned, she has done no wrong and turns it around onto everyone else.
Beside the fact that she is gone all the time, and my niece is between my brother and I, my sister in law has left my nephew with a friend, and her friends mom this whole time, and she only picks him up in the morning and then drops him back off in the afternoon to be with them for the remainder of the day and overnight, so that she can go off to her friends house for the night. She refuses to let anyone meet these people, and she wont let anyone else in the family watch him or take care of him for any length of time.
I have tried tirelessly to get her to bring him home, it has been a constant fight for all of us including my brother. I have only seen him maybe 10 or 12 times since he was born, and he lives here in Burbank, he is walking now, and I never saw him crawl!! No one can get through to her, she has one excuse after another of why he can't be at home, first it was the construction at the house, then the fleas, then because they sprayed for the fleas, and on and on and on!!
Well, Yesterday it came to head! my sister in law, niece and nephew came over, we went to the park, she took my nephew on the Merry-Go-Round, but my niece did not want to go on because the horses were not white, and the brown horses go too fast. Then at 12:45 she had to take my nephew back to her friends because he had not had his nap, why he could not take a nap here at my place???? Who knows!! my niece stayed with me, because no one can go with my sister in law to drop him off??? Strange behavior!!
About an hour later my brother and sister in law came over to my place to help me pack, because I am moving to a downstairs unit in the same building. Then around 3:00 my sister in law took a shower and then gave my brother, my niece and I the rush to leave. We had my car loaded with cans and bottles to take to the recycling center and we had to hurry because they were going to close.
So we all went downstairs and got into the car, all except for my sister in law who was waiting for her friends dad to come and pick her up so she could be gone 'yet again'! Well I could not let this go on, so I drove around the corner, and made a u-turn at the next street. As I came back around the corner my brother said "there they go, they just turned left into the alley." So I quickly caught up to them and cut them off. my sister in law jumped out of his car and ran over and jumped in my back seat of my car yelling "Don't believe him, He's a liar"!! as I was getting out of my car to go and find out who this guy was... Boy was I shocked!!!
I asked him "who are you", and he said, "Steve..." I said, "What are you doing with my sister in law," and he said "sister in law???" I said "yes" and asked him, "Are you aware that she is married and has a four year old daughter and a one year old son?" you should have seen the look on his face! he said, "We have been dating for a couple of months and she told me that she was single, I had no idea that she had a family and was married, are they separated or divorced? because when you stopped us she said, that's my ex-boyfriend and he has been stalking me, don't believe him!" (im guessing about my brother)
It turns out that he is not her friends dad, but a guy that she has been cheating on my brother with. She has been leaving her kids and husband and going to this guys house in Thousand Oaks every night for months and that they have been living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, he has even taken her to meet his parents... She has been lying through her teeth to everyone... And the worst part is that she has completely denied her kids, they don't exist to him, or her for that matter! And what I can't believe is that my brother wants to give her another chance, but that is only if they get counseling??? She was more upset that the guy took his cell phone back from her than the fact that she had just been caught with another man... and she still refuses to admit that she has done anything, and still insists that he is her friends father and she does not know why he is lying!
I am at a total loss, I don't know what the right thing to do is!! All I know is that I love my niece, nephew and my brother, but I have so much pain, hurt and anger for my sister in law right now, I don't know if I can ever forgive her, but is that even my place??? I could really use some good advice or input!
thanks.
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