Nine year old is scared of my friend?

Question

Well, my little brother's "ex girlfriend" (lulz, so cute!) who we call "Kenzie" came back from California a few months ago. She had won a contest on a reality TV show (beilieve what you want) and my friend, Traci, and I stopped by to congradulate her. We've been real good friends with that kid since she was born, since we live so close together. So one thing led to another, and Traci put Kenzie in a headlock while playing around. Kenzie freaked out and started loosing it, screaming for her to let her go and stuff. Traci let her go and Kenzie stepped back a little. Then, Traci was like, "Whoa, McKenzie! Relax!", and she reached out to hug her, she jerked back and said, "Don't touch me!". Then I hugged her, consoled her, whatever. And everything went back to normal. Kenzie and Traci were cool with each other again. But that's all. Kenzie won't let Traci near her or make any physical contact with her, which is very stupid. I mean, it was just a headlock and it happened MONTHS ago.

Answer 1

Kenzie's space was violated and a 12 year old really should never have put the poor kid in a headlock to begin with.  You can ride it out all you want...Kenzie is obviously traumatized by the experience and it will probably take a long time, if ever, for her to want to near your friend Traci again.  It's Traci's fault.

Answer 2

Ever thought about having some alone time with your sister? Make it a day. And talk. Bring the conversation around to the subject at hand.

Was it your freind she had the reaction to or was it something else that happened on a previous occasion?

Reassure your sister of your love, but help her to understand your freinds hurt. It seems to me there is something there, and before you do anything you need to make your parents aware of your observations, believe it or not they can actually help.

Answer 3

Yes, saying sorry would be a good start.  Traci will have to win Kenzie's trust back and it could take a long time.  If you keep badgering Kenzie to let Traci touch her, you will be making it much worse.  Keep your hands to yourself, and just drop the subject.  Everything will be OK.

Answer 4

Since it has lasted so long, I think Traci and you should talk to Kenzie's mom about it.  Maybe she can shed some light on the situation and help you resolve it.  Although Traci made a mistake that time, she didn't mean any harm and wants to make up for it.

I agree that if Traci hasn't apologized, she definitely should.  Even if she has, it probably wouldn't hurt to do it again.  Did she promise never to do anything like that again?  Apparently Kenzie doesn't like it.  [I know some kids between 6 and 10 who wrestle all the time; sometimes they get mad or upset, but they  never get scared.  Every child's experience is different.  Apparently Traci is comfortable with wrestling and Kenzie isn't.]

Answer 5

Did she apologize? If not, she needs to, and be sincere. None of that "you overreacted" c**p either. What's gonna make Kenzie and Traci friends again is if Traci apologizes without trying to make Kenzie feel worse than she already does.